Hunter

I watched the British version of Pollyanna tonight on Public Television. It reminded me of the Disney version but without so much Hollywood. It helped me renew my positive outlook on life again.

I was forced to shoot a beautiful hawk today. Uncle from next door came hurriedly to my back door with news that he had rescued one of my chickens from the claws of a hawk. Another minute and the talons would have squeezed the life out of my little friend. My little bantam chicken didn’t stand a chance against the much larger bird of prey. 

I bought a small 410 shotgun specifically to use here in Escalante. As a livestock owner I have the right to protect my animals from predators. You must use a shotgun here in city limits. 

As I glanced at the frightened little bantam, I could see the hawk sitting on the fence getting ready to go after another chicken.

I had seen this hawk several days ago fly into the neighbors yard trying to catch a dove with no success. I know that the hawk was following it’s instinct in wanting to find a meal. 

The hawk swooped down on the larger chicken but missed it and it landed back on the fence. As I approached the hawk, it looked at me but didn’t fly away. I walked within 25 feet and stopped with the hawk in my sights. 

I gave up hunting nearly 20 years ago because I couldn’t bring myself to kill for sport. I tried to rationalize for several years saying that it was to provide food for my family. After taking vacation days and spending way too much on equipment and supplies, my meat cost me a lot more than buying it.

This is the first time in almost 20 years that I have intentionally killed an animal or a bird. 

I looked into its eyes and with a brief hesitation, I pulled the trigger. I felt a sadness at having to kill such a beautiful bird. I looked at the now dead eyes and the rumpled feathers and the large strong talons and the sharp beak and thought how beautiful it looked when it was alive. It flew with such grace and agility.

I try to find a place of harmony in my life and this small but significant to me, choice of killing one to preserve another has made an impact on me.

I went out into nature today and walked on the land, watching the birds and enjoying the warmth of the sunshine on my face. It was cool today with the breeze but felt so invigorating to be in the quiet countryside. 

I thought about my life and the people that have attacked me at times in my life. They must have felt they had good reasons. 

Later I stopped to see a neighbor and was given such an angry look that I felt much like that little bantam chicken, I could almost feel the talons piercing my flesh.

It was good to watch Pollyanna tonight. Life can bring such challenges to us, sometimes in our fear or anger we strike out at those closest to us or those we don’t understand. 

I want to always act in kindness when others may strike at me. It is not easy. 

Sometimes I fail and react instead. 

The difference that one person can make can change the whole community. 

I would rather walk away than face a fight, but sometimes we are forced to make a choice between survival or death. 

How far would we go to protect our way of life? 

Would we kill? 

Would we be killed? 

I can’t judge another’s choice to protect his family or his home. 

What about the oil that we import to heat our homes and run our cars? 

Would we kill for that?

What about our lifestyle?

Our religion?

The color of our skin?

The language that we speak?

Each day we make choices, and those choices make us who we are.

To speak kind words in any language brightens everyone’s day.

The sharing of our time and wisdom could do much to smooth an angry soul.

Being tolerant and even supportive of another’s beliefs even though they may wear different kind of clothes could make this world a better place.

Allowing for new ideas and giving up our addictions to oil would help to heal our Mother Earth.

I will remember that beautiful hawk for a long time.

The beauty and grace of its soaring flight in the sky.

I will also remember the lifeless stillness of its death.