The Room

The Room

“I can’t move.” 

“I must move.” 

“Why can’t I move?”

A thick fuzzy paralysis gripped me. This doesn’t feel right. 

“What kind of force holds me against my will?”

I struggled to wake up, the covers on the bed seemed to weigh a ton. 

“Help me!” 

“I must fight free from this feeling of helplessness.”

There are forces on this earth that we must face, both known and unknown. The invisible force that held me bound was not a new experience. It has happened many times in my life.

The most powerful of these experiences happened in Provo, Utah. 

I was working the graveyard shift at Novell. 

While I walked through the mostly empty buildings at night I would check to make sure the doors were closed and locked. My progress was monitored by the security system. After checking all areas I would often have time to stop in the break room and get some hot chocolate or popcorn. There were several smaller rooms scattered around that had first aid supplies, a vending machine, and a bed.

We rotated assignments each night to break the routine and keep us alert. I did really good until around 5 in the morning. 

My eyes would not listen to my brain.

When my buddy and I worked the same shift, if we finished our rounds we would go to the break room and rest for a few minutes before the next round.

It was in this room that I had my encounter with the unknown force. It was also a time in my life that I was struggling to find direction and answers to what lie ahead.

I left California to find peace and a better job. I came back to my roots, the place that I called home. 

My day job started at 8 in the morning. I would finish at 4:30 and go straight home, eat, shower and go to bed. I would wake at 10 at night, dress and arrive at my second job at 11. There I would join other security guards and work until 7 in the morning. I would go home, change into my day clothes and work till 4:30. This routine went on for months until I was falling asleep while sitting in the restaurant for lunch or sleeping through my lunch break at night.

I thought that by applying my self and working harder I could get ahead. The trouble was that my body wasn’t able to manage the stress and lack of sleep.

“I must get up.” 

‘This force is keeping me from moving.” 

“I can’t breathe.” 

“I need help!” 

“Why is this happening to me?”

This experience happened numerous times to me while I worked the night shift. 

I found an empty conference room on my rounds that I would use to pray. It was quiet and had a peaceful feeling when I would stop there. I had many conversations with God in that room. I think it was me that did most of the talking. I would always pause and wait for some kind of answer or inspiration or anything to give me the help I was asking for.

I wanted a better job with better pay. I wanted answers to all the questions that I had concerning my unhappy marriage, the unpaid bills, and my faith was wavering. I had so many questions and I desperately needed help. 

I got a break on the weekends, I had Saturday to sleep and catch up on my rest. 

One night while sleeping at home, I noticed the binding feeling surround me. I couldn’t move, I had a hard time breathing. I recognized the feeling from the break room. The same fuzzy half awake feeling. 

“I must wake up.”

“Move.”

“Breathe!” 

“Help me!”

Then I felt the binding feeling leave, I was wide awake. 

“I can breathe again.” 

“What is that exquisite feeling that is filling my body?” 

“The tingling.” 

“The lightness.” 

“The peace.” 

“Is someone here?”

“Is it you, God?”

At that moment I felt such joy. Tears welled up in my eyes and fell to my pillow.

“How am I doing God?”

The feeling intensified and got stronger and stronger. It felt like I was floating above the bed.

“What do you want me to do, God?”

“Oh ... are you sure?”

“Are you really sure?”

“Are you sure you’re sure?”

“Ok ... then, I will do it.”

In that moment, my life changed. 

I knew my direction.

I knew that no matter what happened, I would be ok.

I am not alone in my experience. 

There are many who have passed through this dark night of the soul. It is in our greatest need that our greatest blessings come.

It may come in many forms. It fills a need that our soul has to commune with a higher power. 

The God source. 

The source that each of us have within us. 

We can pray to an outside force for help, but the real power is within. 

We are powerful beings experiencing this human form. These bodies are subject to the forces that are part of this earth experience. We each play a small part of the overall story that is unfolding before our eyes. We experience it best when we open our hearts and allow the richness of life to be our teacher.

My experience a few nights ago, is my clue that good things are about to explode into my life. I have been doing most of the talking again, but this time I know that at any moment ... in an instant, my life will move me towards new frontiers, new experiences, new relationships, and the windows to my life will broaden, exposing me to a new, adventure of a life time.

Two feet Deep

Two Feet Deep

It was a packed house at City council meeting last night, standing room only. I sat with my coffee mug, pad and pencil ready, as I waited patiently for my turn at the podium.

The agenda was long and many topics were waiting to be aired before the mayor and his council. 

The room was buzzing with speeches of gratitude from one and a diatribe of complaints, flies and stinking neighbors from another.

Tension filled the room as abuses and injustices were voiced in an emotional plea for fairness.

I was educated on the finer points of Equine husbandry. I learned that an average 1,000-pound horse will produce 9 tons of manure a year or 50 pounds per day, not including bedding. You get about 2 cubic feet per day of manure and bed waste or 730 cubic feet per year. With more horses, that adds up to a field of shit two feet deep and a whole lot of flies.

If it weren’t so foul, it might have been more of a laughing matter. After many months of non action from the city, neighbors were out of patience. A new resolve was adopted and city ordinances were promised to be enforced.

The arrogant neighbor with barking dogs? His excuse was that if you wouldn't use your back yard, his dogs wouldn’t bark so much.

Four new business licenses were presented and approved by the city council, a new beer permit was approved. With competition in town, maybe the price of beer will fall. 

Two new dumpsters were approved for recycling glass.

Banners and slogans were proposed.

We were asked to be part of a government study on why people would want to come to our part of Utah, if we wanted to become a Tree City, if we wanted to rename our airport, and after a power point presentation, if our community wanted a covenant program for the military in our community. 

A new permanent radar speed sign was discussed so that our mobile radar sign could be moved to the other side of town and slow traffic from that direction. Maybe I can borrow it this summer when the 4 wheelers go racing by in a blur down my street.

When it finally came to me, I stood and spoke about light pollution and the need to reduce the street lights on my block. I count 8 lights that shine in my windows at night and that doesn’t include the war memorial spot lights that shine in my eyes when I sit in my favorite chair, or the million candlepower beams of the bank lights on the hill. The bank informed me that State law requires them to night blind us all. 

One neighbor agreed to disconnect his light. 

My other neighbor informed me that by having a powerful street light in his back yard he doesn’t have to use a night light in his house at night. His light stays.

One suggestion was an old time remedy using a BB gun.

The council agreed to look at my light request and will vote on the matter in the next city meeting.

A Possible future pandemic was discussed, along with a need for a plan to survive on our own, if ever there is a plague or worse. 

Money for a new automatic generator at the fire station and clinic are needed. 

Money for the EMT’s was approved.

Our local cop agreed to issue citations for infractions of the city codes.

In the beginning we pledged allegiance to the flag, in the end we pledged to become ambassadors of good will in promoting our little town as a destination and gateway to the Grand Staircase National Monument.

After more than 2 hours, Mayor Jerry did his best to move the meeting along, promises were made, resolutions were passed, the city agreed to pay their bills and we all left wondering how in the world we could make it for two long weeks, until the next city council meeting.

The Sky is falling ... really!

The Sky is falling

There are men among us, if you can call them men, and not a few, who mirror the very darkest that humans can imagine. 

They were bred out of the darkness of cruelty and greed, corruption and lust for power. 

They are shape shifters and they have been among us for many thousands of years. 

They have enslaved us, killed us, tortured and brainwashed us. 

We believe anything they want through the manipulation of chemicals, radiation and fear.

They have created technologies to manipulate time. Using holographic images, they can show us Christ, Mohammad or any other prominent person, descending from the sky or burning in hell.

They have taken that which the earth gave freely and created greedy corporations to control our food, water and natural resources. 

They create man made diseases. 

They propagate wars based on the lies of traitors. They create Frankenfoods which poison us. 

They addict us to genetically altered medicines and make us dependent on their corrupt system.

Weather modification has been around since the Eighteen hundreds. 

We have Global warming.

We have Global dimming.

Modern Geoengineers have been using Weather modification to intentionally manipulate and alter the weather. 

These engineers have developed micro particles of metallic substances and are dumping them into our atmosphere by the millions of tons. 

Particles are placed in the atmosphere using jets as a means of distribution. 

These particles stay in the atmosphere following air currents until they are over targeted areas. 

Beams such as HAARP are triggered to heat the air, triggering the micro particles to absorb or release moisture, thus altering weather patterns and creating excessive rainfalls or excessive droughts. 

Monsanto and other mega giants have developed drought tolerant and rain tolerant crops which they will sell, so that these modified crops will survive extreme conditions. 

These seeds are genetically altered using kill genes that destroy the seeds ability to replicate themselves, thereby creating a dependency on these corporate bastards.

Money markets then bet and invest upon futures of crops, using the weather as an instrument of manipulation to make huge sums of money.

Normal weather patterns are no longer reliable as a means of predicting the weather. 

Severe drought, excessive unprecedented rainfall, hail storms wiping out entire crops, tornados, hurricanes, extreme heat or extreme cold, all these are being created to control us and the earth.

The weather has been turned into an instrument of mass destruction.

The Sky is falling!

Those who deny these facts are cowards and supporters of the very systems that are destroying us and our planet.

They demand our guns.

They hide behind self serving laws.

They build underground and off world cities to protect and preserve the elite.

They hide behind governments and religions.

They kill hundreds of millions of innocent people because they are not willing to share the wealth that they have stolen from the very people they enslave.

When caught in acts of deception, murder, and torture, they manipulate the courts and create new laws to protect themselves.

This must stop.

The Earth demands it.

Its People demand it.

The awakened people of the earth are ready to fulfill their divine destinies. 

We are mad as hell and we aren’t going to take it any longer.

Each of us who came here to this earth, agreed to allow free will in the hope that a new paradigm of spiritual growth would be developed and shared to benefit all beings.

There is a spiritual hierarchy who have watched the progress and growth of the human race. They have ensured that the playing field between the light and the dark has been within the boundaries that we established before coming here to experience this earth life.

Those boundaries have been grossly abused and it is now time to kick the bastards out. 

They have depleted our life force and stolen our very life blood.

The earth will no longer stand to be abused and raped.

She is ready to fight or die trying.

This is our home base, and it is now time for us to fight or die trying.

We will no longer stand the abuse.

Each of us has at our command, abilities that are far more effective than any gun or drone. 

We have built in systems that we can activate at any time we choose.

These programs are guided and activated by our thoughts. 

We can pinpoint any person, place, or thing in the universe, just by using our mind. 

The mind with the heart, is the most powerful force in the universe. 

Our spiritual brothers throughout the galaxies can sense our needs and join us in overcoming the injustices that are perpetrated upon us.

We can no longer fix a broken system.

We must build a new world based on universal principals.

We can start now.

Pull your head out of the sand, set aside your electronic distractions, activate your own inner guidance. 

It is there inside you, but you must make the effort. You can do this through meditation, prayer or intention.

Get educated.

Opt out of anything that doesn’t feel right to you.

Stop supporting criminal corporations.

Use your voice and your dollars to send a message.

Talk to those in law enforcement and educate them about the corruption within the system. Show them a better way.

Teach and educate your family and friends.

There are moments in our life when the power of the universe in our hands

The time has come for each of us to use that power.

The survival of the entire human race is at stake.

Let the darkness flee

Beloved Heavenly One,

You and I met on a road less traveled, and for a short span of a few years, we experienced a depth to life that was often times indistinguishable from heaven or earth. From somewhere deep in the dreamtime we danced amid the faeries and trees, listening to their stories and sipping their nectar. The trees told us tales and the rocks sang us lullabies. In my dreaming, I sometimes catch you out of the corner of my minds eye watching me, touching my hand and encouraging me to open my heart to life’s awaiting secrets. We danced in the rain and made love under starlight and yet you tell me that my life has not yet begun, the secrets of the universe lie before me. The past has given me clues to the future, encouraging me to remember, reclaim that which has already been earned. Life is reflecting my inner thoughts, I must focus my intention on universal love and forgiveness. 

Beloved Earthly One,

Let the darkness flee before the rising sun and look to the promise of a new earth. Bless those who hate you, forgive those who abuse you. Remember our love for you, you are never alone. Have we not shown you miracles? You are the creator of your own life. Look around and make for yourself the life you wish for. You have the power within you, you have always had this power, do not believe the lies of conspiring children, they are still asleep in a dream. Use your inner sight and see through your heart. You talk of tales and lullabies, you are the architect of these stories. You are the Rocks, you are the Trees. Heaven dances when you dance, the Fairy realms unite with the Elementals to play your music. You see us and recognize our subtle presence even when we mask our true selves. You are us and we are You. You make love to us in all you do and say, creating new life. The universe looks to you to learn from you in all you do. You are a dynamic in a static environment. You amaze us with your abilities to turn darkness into light. There are no secrets, the answers are already in your consciousness. You are all things. The universe awaits your call.