Two feet Deep

Two Feet Deep

It was a packed house at City council meeting last night, standing room only. I sat with my coffee mug, pad and pencil ready, as I waited patiently for my turn at the podium.

The agenda was long and many topics were waiting to be aired before the mayor and his council. 

The room was buzzing with speeches of gratitude from one and a diatribe of complaints, flies and stinking neighbors from another.

Tension filled the room as abuses and injustices were voiced in an emotional plea for fairness.

I was educated on the finer points of Equine husbandry. I learned that an average 1,000-pound horse will produce 9 tons of manure a year or 50 pounds per day, not including bedding. You get about 2 cubic feet per day of manure and bed waste or 730 cubic feet per year. With more horses, that adds up to a field of shit two feet deep and a whole lot of flies.

If it weren’t so foul, it might have been more of a laughing matter. After many months of non action from the city, neighbors were out of patience. A new resolve was adopted and city ordinances were promised to be enforced.

The arrogant neighbor with barking dogs? His excuse was that if you wouldn't use your back yard, his dogs wouldn’t bark so much.

Four new business licenses were presented and approved by the city council, a new beer permit was approved. With competition in town, maybe the price of beer will fall. 

Two new dumpsters were approved for recycling glass.

Banners and slogans were proposed.

We were asked to be part of a government study on why people would want to come to our part of Utah, if we wanted to become a Tree City, if we wanted to rename our airport, and after a power point presentation, if our community wanted a covenant program for the military in our community. 

A new permanent radar speed sign was discussed so that our mobile radar sign could be moved to the other side of town and slow traffic from that direction. Maybe I can borrow it this summer when the 4 wheelers go racing by in a blur down my street.

When it finally came to me, I stood and spoke about light pollution and the need to reduce the street lights on my block. I count 8 lights that shine in my windows at night and that doesn’t include the war memorial spot lights that shine in my eyes when I sit in my favorite chair, or the million candlepower beams of the bank lights on the hill. The bank informed me that State law requires them to night blind us all. 

One neighbor agreed to disconnect his light. 

My other neighbor informed me that by having a powerful street light in his back yard he doesn’t have to use a night light in his house at night. His light stays.

One suggestion was an old time remedy using a BB gun.

The council agreed to look at my light request and will vote on the matter in the next city meeting.

A Possible future pandemic was discussed, along with a need for a plan to survive on our own, if ever there is a plague or worse. 

Money for a new automatic generator at the fire station and clinic are needed. 

Money for the EMT’s was approved.

Our local cop agreed to issue citations for infractions of the city codes.

In the beginning we pledged allegiance to the flag, in the end we pledged to become ambassadors of good will in promoting our little town as a destination and gateway to the Grand Staircase National Monument.

After more than 2 hours, Mayor Jerry did his best to move the meeting along, promises were made, resolutions were passed, the city agreed to pay their bills and we all left wondering how in the world we could make it for two long weeks, until the next city council meeting.