I had a moment tonight
One of those connecting times when heaven and earth conspired together to let me know that they love me.
I’ve been feeling a bit blue and lonely today.
I checked my email.
I checked the news.
There was little happening.
I finished my simple meal and decided to turn on the TV and get lost.
I turned on Netflix and the first thing I saw was a movie called Mother Ghost.
It looked vaguely familiar so I decided to watch.
It is a story about a grieving man who calls in to a radio talk show.
“Dr Norris” helps him to open up and share the grief he is feeling.
I watched this show with a different perspective tonight.
My Father died almost 2 years ago.
My Wife died a year and a half ago.
They were both living when I watched this the first time.
I probably made light of all the tears in the movie the first time and did my man thing and toughened my emotions.
Tonight was a different scene.
My heart has gone through a mighty transition. I no longer hold the tears back. I was bawling like a child at one point.
I feel no shame in tears.
I had done all the things that “Keith” did on the movie.
I expressed anger at my abandonment.
I shouted at God.
I cried in grief.
I buried my emotions.
I felt cheated at not getting the closure that I needed.
The difference between me and “Keith” is that in these last months I have addressed all these issues on my own.
Months of quiet solitude have given me the time and peace to work through all these negative emotions in the way that was perfect for me.
I have reflected some of these experiences in my stories.
I thank you for being patient with me and listening.
I am sure I have put a few dents in Heavens door with all my words.
The last and final act for me was to let them go, to tell them that I love them and to forgive them for dying.
It was not a fault of anyone that they died.
Their bodies were no longer able to sustain their spirits and they left.
There is no more pain.
No more loss of body functions.
They are happy and tonight they let me feel their presence.
My Dad is here with me.
My Wife is here with me.
There is a special feeling with me.
I no longer feel blue.
I am loved, I can feel the connection from them.
They are here and so many more.
I am not alone.
We are not alone.
Heaven and Earth watch over us very carefully and the link is always open.
It’s Better than drugs.
It’s Better than food.
Tonight I only thought I was here alone.
This little miracle in my life tonight has reminded me of something that I had forgotten for a moment.
Thank you once again Beloved Ones.
You are amazing.
