The Last Kiss
Snow covered the ground when I first saw her.
There she was at the back of the room, sitting alone.
Her long red hair captured my attention.
She came up to me after the meeting and introduced herself to me. She announced that she was moving to that little town.
My inner guidance registered a definite connection to this woman, and I wondered why?
A month later, I got a call from a friend who asked me to stop by on the way home from work.
He announced that he had a letter that would interest me. I silently read page after page of hand written letter as I sat in his home. When I finished, he asked me what I thought?
I responded that the letter was directed to me and that I had an overwhelming feeling that my life was about to change in a dramatic way.
The 17 page letter unfolded with a description of a heavenly encounter she had experienced while attending that meeting a month ago.
She described that when she saw me enter the room, she felt two heavenly messengers stand next to her. They told her that the man they had promised she would find was sitting in my chair. She described her feelings as they opened her spiritual eyes and she remembered me from a heavenly lifetime.
She heard these words, “This is the man who will walk this spiritual path with you.”
My friend told me that she was arriving tomorrow and wanted to talk to me.
As I drove those few blocks home, my mind was filled with questions.
I was working on a small farm, helping a friend on a building project when I saw her come up the drive way.
She was so beautiful.
Tiny, petite, and long red hair flowing down her back.
I listened as she talked. Our conversation lasted four hours as we sat in the barn.
I told her that I needed to have some time to get my own heavenly answers.
The answer came the following spring when I was awakened in the night with an overwhelming feeling to pray. As my prayer unfolded I asked what I was to do about the red headed woman who had poured out her heart to me last winter.
The answer came softly and quietly. It was not a booming voice or the voice of angels but with an inward peace that stirred my soul.
The following day I called to see how she was doing.
I was nervous and paced the floor as I described my prayer experience. My emotions were flowing freely as I recited my night’s answer to her question.
I can’t come right away, she said. There are things that I must do to prepare first.
I hung up the phone and called the florist.
“Deliver one long stemmed red rose each day.”
“I don’t have a wedding dress, she said.”
My friend was intently listening as I described my phone call.
“What size does she wear?”
“I don’t know, I’ll call.”
“She said size 8.”
A smile formed on my friends face as his wife explained that a few years earlier she felt prompted to sew a wedding dress.
“I didn’t know why then, but I do now, she said.”
“The dress is size eight, and it is for her.”
She arrived late Friday night, I was worried that she might have changed her mind.
“I got lost she said, as she got out of her car.”
We embraced, she wanted to kiss, but I stopped her and said, “Why don’t we wait and kiss over the altar for the first time.
That day, March 5, 1994, marked the beginning of an incredible journey that lasted nearly 17 years.
We fell in love and together lived our dreams.
We laughed and cried and thrilled as our adventure unfolded each day. The energy that existed between us was palpable to those around us. The heavens unfolded to us a series of experiences over the next years that exposed us to people and places that unlocked our hidden memories of past lives and opportunities that lay ahead.
One of her dreams was to drive cross country and see the wonders that were there to find. We spent seven weeks on that walk about. We stopped when we wanted, camped when we wanted and finally ended up on a small private beach in Maine where we marveled at the ability of the universe to astound us with the generosity of people and the bounties of the earth.
One of my dreams was to live in Hawaii as a caretaker. It took a year, but the universe delivered.
We arrived in July 2009. My job was to write the checks for the various workers who would come to maintain the property, and to feed the cat, Wooly Bear. If any guests arrived, I would pick them up, orient them to the area and call the cleaning people when they left.
It was a dream job.
Our O’hana looked out over the ocean, the avocado, coconut, and banana trees were scattered around the yard, but the main property was coffee trees. Five hundred trees.
Kona coffee, mmmm, good.
We explored the island, swam in the ocean and bathed in Aloha energy. The volcano goddess Pele protected and blessed our life, the Lady of the mountain, Poliahu, nourished us. We conversed with departed spirits and were energized by the sea. It was a paradise.
It started as a small lump.
“A little tender, she said.”
We talked and she reassured me that no matter what happened, she would not let the doctors treat her.
She came from a pioneer family that believed in natural remedies, faith, and the miracles of the heavens.
We agreed to wait and see what developed, if anything.
It was Christmas when I felt that familiar feeling, the universe was planning a change for us.
When I approached her, she said, “Yes, I feel it too. I have been waiting for you.”
”Escalante? I said. Why Escalante?”
It was unmistakable, we both felt homesick for Escalante Utah.
We arrived in April of 2010.
We were excited to unload our storage boxes and finally throw them away.
I finished unloading the moving truck, and lay in bed happily exhausted when the phone rang.
“Your father died in the night, when can you get here?”
A week later we returned after the funeral wondering if this was the reason that we felt to leave Hawaii.
It was the middle of June when the cancer began to grow. It began with an explosion of nausea, vertigo, and excruciating pain.
She lost 25 pounds, unable to eat.
Do you want to contact the doctors, I asked?
Again, she said no.
It was September, I was in the garden, she was in bed.
I felt those two heavenly messengers come close to me and whisper, “It is time.”
Tears streamed down my face as I went in to talk with her.
“I know,” she said.
We cried and held each other for a long time.
“Call my family and tell them if they want to see their mother one last time that this is the time.
One by one, each family member came in and expressed their love and concern.
The pain was severe and the morphine had finally arrived.
I knew as the dosage was increased that she would loose consciousness.
She asked me to give her one last kiss before she faded away.
Then she was gone.
When every one finally left and all the arrangements had been made, I lay down beside her still body and cried into the night.
The early dawn began to lighten the sky.
Was she really gone?
Was this the end of our adventure?
Or, the beginning of a new adventure?
Over the next weeks, months and years, I have learned to listen to her new voice, to recognize when she is near.
It still hurts.
I miss the smile, her eyes, and especially her long red hair.
I have learned to see her with new eyes, hear her with new ears, and to feel her with a new heart.
What lies ahead?
Time will tell, but in the mean time ... the stories unfold and I am reminded that my journey is one that few experience.
She is now one of my heavenly messengers and she is always there for me, She encourages me to live life and especially share what we experienced together. Our spiritual path continues, maybe not in the way I had imagined, but she is still holding my hand as I continue this journey.
I am reminded by her that ours was a journey of discovery.
It began long, long ago and has far, far to go.
