Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dear One ...

The tears ran freely and unashamedly when you stood by my side today. 
I thought I was going to lay in the hammock and take a nap but I felt your presence close to me. 
I remember the days we sat together watching nature from our back yard porch. 
You were with me again today and still with me as I write. 
You may have stepped out of my vision for a while but you are now my Guardian and companion angel. 
I know you really haven’t left me although it has been nearly two years since your earthly body died. 
Somehow the music on my player knows exactly how to evoke the energy to connect us. 
My days lonely without you as I try to fill them with projects and busy work. 
How do you like the color on the old house? I wanted to match the desert rose rocks that we found a few years ago, but it looks more like peach. 
Know what? 
It is the same color as the rock we found in the desert. I thought you would like it. 
I am painting the trim bright white, it makes the color pop. 
I am getting ready for another Griffin reunion here at the old homestead. 
After 132 years this old house is still welcoming and cozy. 
My new grass has more weeds than grass but it is green and helps to control the blowing dust from the neighbors dirt farm. 
I got some more chickens. Five of them, they make me laugh as I see them do chicken things. They remind me of some of the people we have known through the years. 
I got some backpacking gear to go out and do some multi day hikes but somehow I can’t bring myself to go out alone without someone along. 
I wonder where I will be in  year from now. 
Have you got any information that you can share with me? 
The world is still struggling to find balance with the chaos of the people upon her. She is reflecting the discordant energy of the people. 
I am looking forward to the summer rains to help me with the watering. Our reservoir is low and needs to be replenished.
I wanted to take some of our favorite drives into the mountains, but again, it’s not much fun without you. 
My monthly reunions dinners are helping to fill the empty place in my heart. We had 18 at the last gathering. They are a lot of fun. You would like them. 
How are the rest of the family? How is your Dad? and my Dad? Do you see your brother much? I’ll bet you’ve had some good talks with Jesse, he died so young. 
I know you were at Troy’s wedding in Mesa last month, I didn’t feel like going alone and having to sit outside again. We did that 3 times already.
Your sister is moving forward in her divorce with Bob. He is being selfish but your sister is so much happier.  The dark energy from Bob was so destructive to her spirit. She is regaining her power and reclaiming her powerful soul, the one we once knew. 
Oh, Sweetie ... I miss you so. 
Keep close ...
It so helps. 
The cat birds came in mass this week so I looked up their message. 
“Communication and being extra careful about what I say and to whom,” how about that. It is amazing to see the witness of nature in my life. 
I am seeing dragonflies this summer ... you said to look for you when they appear. 
I feel you in my heart. 
I see you in the flowers. 
I’m sorry I haven’t taken very good care of your medicine circle this year.
I will start energizing it again when I finish the painting and the reunion is over. 
When I scattered some of your ashes there, the wildflowers really came alive. 
The Russian sage was so beautiful this spring. 
I planted our sunflowers again this year, you will be able to see their spiral pattern from your vantage place. 
What do you want me to do with your things? They are in the attic along with most of your things. 
It’s not fair, you know, to visit me in my dreams when I am not able to respond as I would like. 
Do you still have your long red hair? 
Red is my weakness, you know that. 
I hold your red braid of hair to remind me of how beautiful your hair was. 
You missed the fresh cherries this year, the apricots are loaded and ripe now. Soon the peaches and apples will be maturing and ready to harvest. I miss you Love. Always ...