I'm Sorry

 I’m Sorry
    
    Fall is here with Winter just around the corner. The harvest festival in Boulder was calling so we headed east on highway 12 to enjoy the day with friends and food.
Leaving the city a coyote leaped out in front of my truck from the sagebrush next to the road. There was nothing I could do to avoid her and instantly it was dead with the thump, thump of the tires over her helpless body.
    I have been driving most of my life and in that time I have never had that kind of experience with a coyote. Sure I’ve hit rabbits, they play a kind of game where they try to run across the road just as you get close to them, especially around the full moon. I will try and avoid them if possible, but my credo is maneuver if possible but never swerve out of control and cause an accident.
    Some years ago when I moved back to Escalante I was cresting the Blues and heading down through the Upper Valley when I hit a small hawk, I stopped and picked up the bird and brought it back with me. I placed it under a new bush that I was planting to honor it for its life force.
    When ever I have an unfortunate encounter with an animal or fowl I look around me to try and see a connection between me and the animal. Sometimes I get an immediate connection because of something that is going on in my life and sometimes I get nothing. I have a book called Animal Speaks that can give me clues from a traditional Native American view. I know from past reading that a coyote is compared to a trickster, but after reviewing the reference again I found that magic is associated with the coyote, much like the raven they both connect with creator, teacher, hidden wisdom and keeper of magic. Both remind us not to become too serious and that anything is possible. If nothing seems to resonate with me I set it on a shelf and wait for more to come at a later time.
    I thought about the coyote and wondered if I was part of the coyote path, had this animal being wanted to pass on over the great veil? Was I participating in a greater scene that was unfolding? Or am I taking life too serious?
    The past few years have impacted all of us in ways that are still unfolding. I did get caught up in the politics of life and spent too much time worrying about things that I could do nothing about. I am resolving to focus on things that are closer to home, on things that I can do something about, staying positive and being happy.
    In my meditation this morning I am connecting with you Coyote and all of life … I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.

Little farm house on the hill

 Visitors

    A number of years ago I lived in a little farm house outside of Wathena, Kansas, It was built sometime before the civil war. The property had 400 acres attached to it. The owner of the property had turned most of the acres into native grass land as the government was paying him not to farm.
    It was summer and the rolling hills of the land was blessed with deer and wild life. I wondered over those acres not knowing anything about the tiny insects or creatures that lived in the grass under foot. It wasn’t until I started itching that I noticed the little red bumps on my legs. The locals knew that when you go into the woods you always change your clothes and wear clean clothes the next day. Chiggers as I found out had blessed my walk that day and for several weeks they reminded me never to walk without spraying or changing my clothes after. I bought an old riding lawn mower and decided to mow a path around the property so that the little critters would be less of a problem.
    The path ended up being about 2 miles long and each week I would mow the path. One day as I was mowing the path I noticed on top of the hill a circle of grass that was different than the rest of the surrounding grass… I had an idea. I had been studying Native American medicine wheels and decided to make my own.
I got a string and a stake and found the center of the circle, I tied the string to the stake and extended it to the outer part of the circle and mowed a circle around the grass. I then made two more circles each smaller than the last until I finished at the center. The overall size was about 50 feet in diameter. I marked each of the compass points with a stick and a rock corresponding to the colors red, yellow, black and white. I gathered items that represented each direction, water, air, earth and fire and placed them at the cardinal points of my circle.
    At sunset this was a perfect place to observe nature and the beauty of the green rolling hills.
    My friend John was visiting one day and asked if he could walk out and see my medicine wheel, several hours later he came back with a story that made the hairs on my arms stand up. He said as he approached the circle that there were already people there. They looked like they were doing ceremony, he watched them and they looked at him and acknowledged his prescience. John was gifted with an ability to see beyond this 3D realm and said that these visitors were using “my” medicine wheel to pray. I have often wondered why I felt to make that circle or why nature seemed to talk to me as I entered that land.
    I had many spiritual experiences living on that old farm. The Ancestors also knew the sacredness of that area, I was just the latest occupant in this timeline.
    Over the years I have had the blessing of learning many lessons that nature teaches when we walk among the spirits of the land.
    We as humans only have the ability to see less than .0005 per cent of the universe around us, maybe less. Animals such as cats will seemingly stare at objects in the room that we can’t see. The dog’s ability to smell is many times greater than ours so why do we humans think that if it can’t be seen then it does’t exist?
    Let yourself drift into a mode of silence and close all your browsers, it is there we find a world of the unseen and unheard and the whole of the universe will open to us. The possibilities are unlimited as to the scope of our learning understanding.
    Too many have opted for blinders to block the unpleasantness of life, worse still are the hoards rushing to put virtual reality googles on to live in someone else’s fantasy world where we find ourselves fighting someone else’s battle. The rush of adrenaline and dopamines is addictive and it can take over our life with addiction.
    We are eternal beings living in a temporary world where fantasy and illusion can trap you in a dungeon of your own making. Make choices that will enhance your life and bring joy and happiness, it is ultimately up to you.
    What adventures lie on top of your hill waiting for you to discover? Life is short, I recently put in my order to the Universe that I want at least another 50 years, after all … I want to see how this all ends up.
    The longer I live the more I want to open the universe’s secrets just waiting to be discovered.