Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Bad Gas

Bad Gas
It happens. We go to the gas station to fill the tank with gas then notice that our car is running rough, the car stalls or quits. We blame the bad gas. We expect our cars to run efficiently and reliably each day. We change the oil and the filters as part of regular maintenance. If we forget our car lets us know with a check engine light. If we ignore the fuel light when it comes on we may run out of gas.  
Our bodies are much the same as our vehicles. If we put bad fuel into our tanks, we get bad gas mileage and poor performance. After repeated fueling with bad gas or the wrong kind of gas, we break down. Fortunately we have first aid, ambulances, and doctors to help tune us up. They do their best to help us limp along until our bodies are repaired and working at maximum performance again.
We must be slow learners, because we go back out and choose the  same bad gas again and again. The problem comes from not loving ourselves enough to believe that we are worth the effort or cost of high quality fuel.
Our warning lights are working efficiently and they warn us when we begin to feel poorly. We often ignore these warnings and continue the same destructive habits. We are not like our cars. We can’t trade the old for the new, we have to maintain and nurture these bodies to keep them in top performance.
It is time to stop patronizing the bad gas stations. 
We are what we eat. When you buy your food, buy the best you can afford. 
When many of us were growing up, fast food was a novelty. It was not an everyday habit. The fast food industry has grown to a multi billion dollar industry. We are addicted to their foods. This is not by accident. It was planned carefully with the help of the food and drug administration.
After World war ll, our GI’s came home talking about how the K rations from the Japanese tasted better than American K rations. Research and development discovered that the Japanese used a type of seaweed in the rations that contained Monosodium Glutamate. MSG. The food industry quickly discovered that MSG was highly addictive, It causes the taste buds to expand which made the food taste better. The problem with MSG is, it causes obesity and creates our cravings. An even worse problem with MSG is that it goes directly through the blood/brain barrier and causes the synapsis to fire uncontrollably until they burn out. MSG literally burns out our brain cells. These do not replenish.
I had to buy a food dictionary to understand what all those long names in the ingredient lists really were. 
Bread is pretty basic. Right? Flour, water, yeast, sugar, and salt. Pick up a loaf of bread and read the ingredients. I’ll bet you can’t even pronounce most of the ingredients. It is a list of flavor enhancers, texture enhancers and fillers combined with more chemicals and synthetic ingredients. Once these products are on the shelf, there are a myriad of preservatives to keep them looking fresh.
Elaine Hollingsworth is a former movie star turned healthy food advocate. She had to move to Australia to tell her story of conspiracy in the sickness industry. In her book, Take Control of you Health, she tells the story of the McMuffin ...
“For years I have used a neat visual aid in my public lectures and classes at Hippocrates, courtesy of those friendly Golden Arches people, whose contributions to the diet of young and old the world over are so well known. It is a McMuffin, given to me by a friend who after purchasing it, had put it in a paper box and forgotten about it for a series of reasons too boring to detail. She knew I would be interested in it because after 13 months hidden away in its paper box she discovered this geriatric muffin to still be in pristine condition. Bugs had shunned it, the shape was unchanged and there was not a trace of mould; nor were there any other signs of what we have come to expect from the breakdown of real food. Today, ten years later, it still looks, feels and smells the same. I allow people to examine this aged example of modern junk food marketing, but have to be watchful that none of them attempts to take a bite; it still looks ‘good enough to eat.”
When I go to the store I always read the labels. I know what most of bad ingredients are. The food industry is smart though, they keep changing the names of these chemicals. MSG is contained in most foods under the names, Glutamic acid, yeast extract, autolyzed yeast, gelatin, textured protein, soy protein, most modified ingredients, anything hydrolyzed, natural flavor, and many, many, more. The link below gives a more detailed list of these sources of MSG.
The food industry when confronted with this dangerous chemical has stated: We will not remove this from our products, it has been tested and found safe by the food and drug commission.
It then falls to us to make the right choices. The organic small farmers association has recently taken on Monsanto to preserve their right to produce healthy foods. Monsanto is fighting mad. They do not want us to know which foods have GMO’s, Genetically Modified Organism’s, as part of the ingredients. They are afraid that if given the choice, we will choose healthy over modified foods.
This rabbit hole is deep and it is crucial to become informed so that we can make intelligent choices when we choose our foods.
I try and keep a cheat sheet with me when I shop. It contains the fruits and vegetables that are healthy and those that are so pesticide laden that it is a must to buy them organic or not at all. I keep giving it away to people who notice I read labels and are interested in make healthy choices for their families.
The dirty dozen is a list done by website. They publish an updated list of the worst and the best vegetables and fruits based on the number of poisons and pesticides each fruit contains.
Our parents and grandparents used whole ingredients and cooked from basic home grown products. We can’t all do that today and it is critical to make choices based on informed knowledge of our foods.
Eat organic when you can, when you are faced with uncertain origins of foods, ask for more information. What is in this? Is it homemade? Does it contain packaged or canned products? Is it organic? Was a microwave used to heat the product? Was it provided by a mass produced food kitchen?
I have been lucky that my body has been telling me for a long time which foods it prefers. When I eat, I pay attention to how I feel in the hours after I eat. Do I feel energetic. Am I alert? Am I satisfied? Cravings are warning lights. Pay attention to how you feel.
I am watching my friends drop dead! It does not have to be this way. 
I ask my fellow classmate, Jackson Andersen to send me a list of the known deaths of friends who attended our High School between 1969 -1972. Tears came to my eyes as I read the names of 60 friends who have died. Some of accidents, some causes not known, others from disease. I wondered how many lives could have been preserved by proper diet and life style changes.
I asked my Doctor/client in Albuquerque why he prescribes drugs instead of educating his patients. He told me, they would rather take a pill than make a life style change.
Is it time to make changes? Our life depends on it!
Do you live to eat?
I eat to Live.
I allow myself to be flexible within in limits.
I would rather use my money choosing a healthy lifestyle, rather than paying for lengthy and costly hospital stays. 
Let’s put the hospitals and the doctors out of business by making the informed healthy choices and treating ourselves to the best fuel available.
We are worth it!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Price

I woke this morning with a feeling to get out my copy of “The Price.” I went up to the attic and found the box marked Mormon Books and found my copy. I have kept many of my books in the attic because they contain information that makes some people uncomfortable. Over the years I have been led to these books, they have helped in my awakening process. These books have opened my eyes to further light and knowledge.
The Price is a story out of Nazi Germany. It recounts the experience of several young German boys who decide to stand up for the principals of freedom. Some paid the ultimate price with their lives. Karl Schnibbe tells his story of survival and triumph. As a boy in his early teens he describes the gradual transition that took place around him. First in the community, and then in his church. 
Karl was a Mormon in Nazi Germany. He saw the young boys join the Brownshirts. They began wearing these uniforms to church. In the beginning the Nazi takeover brought a temporary relief from high unemployment and the out of control inflation. In 1936 Karl joined the “Cub Scouts” of the Nazi party. Recruiters came through each neighborhood carefully registering each youth. He said at first it was very exciting with overnight hikes, marching, and mock battles. Indoctrination took on a regular basis. When he was 14 he went into the Hitler Youth, where each got a dagger with the words, Blood and Honor stamped on the blade. 
He became disillusioned with the Nazi party because he saw they were diametrically opposed to the principals of freedom.
He said that many of those around him adopted the “wait and see” attitude with Hitler and the Nazis. He watched as people began to disappear. Church members were supportive of Hitler, referring to the 12th article of faith which says: We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. He said that members tended to be a bit naive in political matters.
A special church meeting was held when an angry church leader, President Soellner, learned his own typewriter had been used to write anti propaganda leaflets. Karl ultimately spent 7 years in prison serving hard labor. He is a survivor. His friends weren’t as fortunate.
We have now facing us, many of the same challenges that Karl faced in Nazi Germany. Our freedom is at risk. We are living in a police state where anyone can be arrested without reason and held indefinitely as an enemy of the state. It is time to wake up and speak out.
Hiding behind a locked door or a naive church will not help us. We are at war with our own neighbors, who claim they are only doing their job. It is time to quit working for those who manipulate us and make a difference. 
Abuses are rampant among us. Families with multigenerational physical, mental, and sexual abuses are being quietly swept under the rug. Leaders at risk are advising us to forgive and forget, while they continue the abuses behind closed doors. Depression, suicides, and drug use is pandemic among us. It is time to come out and declare to the world that, “We are mad as hell, and not going to take it any longer.”
Living in Manti, Utah in 1993 I found myself facing discrimination in renting a home. I contacted the Fair Housing Authority in Colorado with my complaints. They stood ready to help in my case. I also contacted the channel 4 news in Salt Lake City. Paul Murphy brought down his camera truck to do an interview. There I was on the 6:00 o'clock news telling my story. When I talked to my Bishop, I was advised to forgive and forget.
There is a seething current just underneath the surface of public view. It is filled with deception, abuse, and control. Leaders need to wake up, report, and correct  these abuses. 
In my own extended family, there is first hand accounts of sexual, physical, satanic, and mental abuses. It has destroyed lives. Only a very few have had the courage to speak out against their abusers. Fear of reprisals against family members have created more abuses. Leader have warned family not to associate with those who have been excommunicated. If you do ... we will come after you.
The “wait and see” attitude will destroy us. 
Forgive and forget will bury us.
It is time to pay the Price for freedom by SPEAKING OUT LOUD.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Second Sight

My world has changed. It’s not just the new things being discovered. It’s not the way the weather patterns have changed. It’s not the unrest in the world. My world has changed because I no longer see it with my physical eyes. I see through my heart and that new perception has given me an understanding that I never knew was possible. That depth that I see comes from the many questions that I have carried in my heart. From the time I was a little boy I felt like I was missing something in my life. Whenever I got to pull the wishbone from the chicken dinner, my wish was, Help me remember. When I saw a falling star, it was the same thing. I have been given my wish.
My heaven is here and now. It is beginning to manifest itself in the physical world. My questions are being answered in an undeniable way.
I no longer carry the guilt of being less than. Within me are the talents, gifts, and qualities of God. I was taught as a little child that I was a child of God. I believed. It was my teachers, friends and family that told me I was less. I believed it then, but no more. I can feel the energy building inside of me. It is a connecting feeling that drives me to not only remember, but to Be in my peace and in my power. My memories are getting stronger. Memories not only of my life here and now, but memories and feelings and emotions from other times. 
One of my favorite movies is Somewhere in Time. It tells the story of two people who cross the barriers of time to find each other. I have done that. My feelings are getting so strong that many lifetimes are connecting with me. I can feel them. I can sense them. Sometimes I can see them. Cell phones are no match for the connection I now have and that connection is getting stronger each day. 
My day dreams and my night dreams are merging into one continual awakening experience. My senses are tuning into frequencies and dimensions that were once unknown. I believe again. I believe in who I am.  I have recaptured my childhood GodSelf.
The world around me has done its best to block my awakening process. Today as I was out in the sunshine I noticed the Chemtrails from the jets going overhead. These were not the vapor trails that disappear in seconds. These are chemicals that are purposely being sprayed from airliners to dumb us down. Our own government has been using a myriad of methods to keep us from waking up to who we are meant to be. 
I am no longer a puppet to be used for someone else’s work slave. Our way of life is about to change. I am using my God given power to block the negative chemicals and frequencies being beamed at us to neutralize our higher abilities.
I have torn down the curtain’s and I can see clearly now. There are many others who are beginning to feel these stirrings within. It is an awakening process that is different and perfect for each person. It is part of our built in failsafe when we agreed to come here.
This earth is a temporary stop of only a few years. We are eternal beings and I am remembering who I am and what I came here to do. 
I am a systems buster. I have not always done it gracefully. My stories are my way of remembering and passing on my personal experiences. As the words begin to form in my mind, I can feel the emotions build and the message pours out of my heart.
My awakening began 20 years ago. I was driving down the freeway in Salt Lake City. I was on my way to a work project. I heard it as clear as the wind outside my open window. It was a message to me telling me to, “Awake Beloved One, you have slept long enough.” Many more things came into my mind as I drove to that job that day. I don’t remember the job, but I remember the message that I received that day. It came with a sweet feeling and an urgency that I could not ignore. My life has been in constant change from that time until now. 
I see differently now. I am sensing the feelings of those around me. I can feel their pain and struggles. I can communicate with nature in a way that I was not aware before this change. I have had animals and birds respond in a way that I didn’t notice before. When I take a moment and tune in, I can sense so much more going on around me. I can use this connection to manifest things around me. 
I am now beginning to recognize others who are experiencing similar things. We see and recognize one another. I have not always know how to process this ability. When my hearts connects, it does not always come with a full understanding of that connection. 
The illusions of this earth are powerful and not everyone is willing to allow these changes. We are free agents, we must make our own choice.
As I continue to create my world around me, the old ways are fading into the distance. Old friends are fading too. My future is beginning to come into focus. It is going to be the adventure of a lifetime. Of many lifetimes. I am watching the culmination of my dreams become manifest. Living and seeing through my heart once more.

Sunday, December 25, 2011


I have selective memory loss, my memory is no longer able to recall many of the unhappy events that I have experienced in my life. When I sit quietly allowing my mind to wander, I pay attention to where my thoughts take me. I enjoy dwelling on good times. If an unpleasant thought surfaces, I don’t automatically put it out of my mind, I look to see if I have faced that lesson fully and resolved the conflict within myself.
STOP! Right now, what are you thinking? 
Happiness, abundance, romance, adventure, travel, fitness? 
Sadness, lack, bills, failed relationships, boredom, excess weight, and the aches and pains of a worn out body? 
Thoughts act as advance scouts for the events and places that we will soon face in our lives. When I control my thoughts I know that I create my own future. When I allow negative emotions to control me and run my life I can be assured of conflict and drama. When I consciously choose my state of mind, That choice will manifest in my life.
I have seen the effects of my thoughts in my own use of the Law of Attraction. This law was brought into focus in the video, The Secret. My ability to use the Law of Attraction has increased with use. The amount of time from first thought to the moment of realization depends on our ability to stay in the positive. The formula says that when you have a thought and dwell on that thought, whether positive or negative, you will create that reality. When that thought is enhanced with emotion the reality is created more quickly.
My dreams, whether they are night dreams or day dreams are the beginning of that change. When my dreams are filled with emotion, especially intense emotions, I know that they will soon be part of my life. 
I have an inner compass. It works with my emotions. When I sense that I am off course, my emotions are doubt, fear, insecurity, and agitation. When I am on a direct life course, my emotions are joy, anticipation, peace and random bursts of laughter.
It has taken me most of my life to trust in these inner feelings, I wish I could have trusted these senses sooner.
The beginning of a new year is traditionally when we make our resolutions to change. 
Happiness, abundance, romance, adventure, travel, and fitness are the things that most of us want in our life. These are our advance scouts. We send them out to bring these realities in our lives.
It takes time to act with positive thoughts instead of reacting with negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. If you get off course, pay attention to your feelings. Trust in your inner guidance and act on that feeling. Your thoughts create your reality. Allow yourself some flexibility in your progress, it takes time to change old habits.
2012 will be a year of great transitions. 
Do you choose to focus on the end of the world, sadness, lack, bills, failed relationships, boredom, excess weight, and the aches and pains of a worn out body? 
Do you choose to focus on new beginnings, happiness, abundance, romance, adventure, travel, and fitness?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Matters of the heart

My sweet sister is lying in an induced coma in Provo, Utah. Fear of brain damage has prompted the doctors to lower her body temperature. In 24 hours they will bring her body back to normal temperature. At that point they will determine the next course of action.
I was awakened with a dream this morning around 2:30 a.m. While processing my dream I felt a spirit presence enter the room. I walked over to the computer and looked at my face book account. I saw a post from my niece only minutes old telling me about her mom. Since that time I have been pondering over her condition and the possible reasons why this has happened.
She has given her whole life to her family. She has raised her 4 children while working full time. She always places others before her self. 
I have been closer to her these past few years. She has experienced more than her share of heart break. I was able to be part of her life by helping her when she needed repairs done on her home. She asked me to install some tile last month. I told her I would only do it if the pay was a dozen pints of her homemade tomato salsa. She gave me that and more. I watched as her energy levels dropped last month. I talked with her about life and asked if she was happy. I asked her if she had done everything she wanted to do in life. I reminded her not to wait too long to find her dreams and live them. Now ... it may be too late.
I have been grateful for learning this sooner than later in my life. Life is fragile and we are not often aware of the sudden changes that can happen in our lives. Conditions of the heart go far beyond the physical stresses that we place upon our bodies. Our hearts are responsible for much more than pumping blood. Our hearts are at the center of our entire being. The heart processes and is capable of doing far more than we are aware. Our heart processes emotions and when negative emotions are left untreated, dis-ease begins to take over and break down our bodies. Matters of the heart are difficult to diagnose and treat. If symptoms are treated without knowing the causes, the cure is seldom successful. 
Treating the whole being is lacking in Western medicine. I take a holistic approach when I look at my own health. Looking at my symptoms has given me a starting point to find the cause of my distress. 
I found a book many years ago that now has worn pages. I turned to it today to begin a process of discovery. It is called, “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die...” by Karol K Truman. 
Karol says there are many reasons for Heart Problems: 
Violating the laws of love; knowingly or unknowingly
Feelings of compassion or rejection being blocked
Feelings of resentment and /or hurt
Not feeling approval from others
Upsetting family problems
Has a difficult time forgiving (including self)
Wanting to release from responsibility
In a relationship that hurts
I don’t know all the buried feelings of my sister. I know part of her story and Karol has touched on possible causes for my sisters heart condition. My sister was aware of her heart condition when I talked with her last month. Both the physical and emotional problems.
She wore a heart monitor then and was working with a heart specialist who was beginning treatment for her. She didn’t know how serious her condition was. She felt she had time to work out these matters of the heart. She met with a councilor to begin the process of resolving her emotional issues. Her condition is more critical than any of us are aware. Her heart knew. It takes time to heal a broken heart that has been suffering for years. I reach out to her knowing that she is close by. I send her my love. My gratitude. I Love you, Jolene.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


I was checking my messages this morning and read a comment from my friend and family, Goode Syster. She was responding to my story of Ding Dong and the villains and the vixens that come into our lives. As I read her heartfelt words, I could feel this next story building in my own heart and knew that it was time to share another part of my journey ...
I first met them many years ago. I was just a kid living in Escalante, Utah. I attended Kindergarten and 1st grade in Escalante. My Grandmother was my kindergarten teacher. I felt special in her class. Her stories and lessons were aimed at giving young children a broader view of the world. In our class picture, I am the one holding the big red apple. I still have fond memories of Hawaiian Punch and sleeping mats where we all took naps together. I felt safe in my Kindergarten class.
When I got a little older, I hiked with my family at Calf Creek and walked to the lower falls. It is a wonderful hike that I have repeated many times. It is a moderate walk of 5 1/2 miles round trip. It is sandy and fairly level. Waiting at the end of the canyon is a 126 foot water fall with a cool and shady haven. Take a lunch, it makes the trip even better. If you go in the summer, plan for temperatures in the 90’s and take water. I went on this hike last summer accompanied by the campground host during a full moon. We left at 10 p.m. and I discovered a whole new adventure hiking under the full moon. It only took us 4 hours. 
As you hike the sandy trail you will find trail markers pointing out the various geologic features of the canyon. You will see ancient storage structures built by the ancestors to the Pueblo People. Sometime around 800 to 1000 years ago, they left this area and moved south into New Mexico and Arizona. As you read the trail guide you will learn about many features of Calf Creek. One of the highlights for me is the pictographs or rock art.
The most impressive of these are the 10 to 12 foot tall pictographs in Red. These Giant Anthromorphs are ancient and primitive. They represent guardians to entrance zones leading from the known into the unknown. This ancient rock art is found all over the world and dates back Tens of thousands of years ago.
I have always been fascinated with Fairy tales. There is a popular series on TV, called Once upon a Time. It plays on ABC, Sunday nights. It is filled with tales that we have read and reread to our kids. It is sometimes scary and the characters are not all nice. The main “bad guy” is a wicked witch who feels cheated and does her best to make everyone else pay for her misery.
Many Fairy tales and myths from ancient history are based in facts. If you take the outer covering from these “stories” you will find “the rest of our story.” 
Our history books only contain information from the latest conquers. It is standard procedure to destroy all former histories that may conflict with current popular beliefs. Our government is actively engaged in propaganda that supports their “authorized version.” You see it every night on network television. When you peal away the layers of deception, you can see the real agenda’s behind the curtain.
Do you remember as a child feeling like there were monsters under the bed? 
I do.
Many of these feelings are based on our instincts and connections to unseen worlds. These often unseen but sometimes felt worlds really exist. We are currently living in a multidimensional world. Our world overlaps many other realities and we can access them at any time. Many people believe that we came from a place before we came to this world. Many believe that we will go to a place after we leave this world. When we pray, we send our prayers to heaven or loved ones who have passed over to the other side. Depending on how we respond to life, we may go to a higher or lower reward. These are basic beliefs of many people. 
These entrance zones or veils are guarded by angelic beings, elementals, and powerful spirit beings. Religion puts its own labels, but they do exist. Powerful government agencies are actively pursuing technology to manipulate these multidimensional worlds with great success. Super computers are now used to access these other worlds for the purpose of controlling and developing knowledge and technology to be used against any who get in the way of a one world ruling class. This is no fairy tale! This is not science fiction, it is science fact!
Several years ago, I left the main trail at Calf Creek and walked up to the giant anthromorphs. They really are huge. What I didn’t expect, was to see smaller figures within the larger figures. There may be many explanations for these figures, but my heart tells me they represent guardians to a portal or entrance that is near by. 
I met a man in Sanpete Valley who has lived most of his life in the hills surrounding this valley. As a young boy without a family life to help him, he found comfort in nature. I met him a number of years ago just after the movie, Star Gate was released. Star Gate is a science fiction story about an ancient device that was uncovered and used to access other worlds. I was in his small store and he heard me talking about the movie with my wife. He introduced himself and asked us more about the movie. He suggested that he had more information on this subject and offered to show us evidence at his home. We went to his home and he opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. He told us about a portal that he used and told us he would take us to the place. I believed his story and found truth in much of what he shared. He told us how he could use these portals to travel to other parts of the valley in a moment. 
These portals are located all around the world to connect and access our world with other dimensions.
Shamans, medicine men and women and other indigenous peoples use these doorways to gain information. There are higher worlds and there are lower worlds where you can learn and be taught how to enhance your abilities to help this world and the lives of those around you. Natural healers access this knowledge to help those that come seeking help. All ancient cultures have these naturally gifted peoples among them, at least they did until the conquering nations killed them. They are killed so that the common people can be more easily controlled. There are many children being born who have these natural abilities. They struggle with the feelings and the rejection they feel from those who do not understand them. There are few left to help them to understand and develop these natural skills. You may have heard of “Indigo Children.” They have many names and they are waking up to their abilities and gifts. They pose a direct threat to the ruling class who are terrified of loosing control over us.
When I faced the “Wicked Witch” at the post office, I felt connection with my guardians. I felt it again when I read the comment from Goode Syster this morning. They want me to know that I have nothing to fear.
I first remember meeting this particular feminine guardian when I was living near Kansas City Missouri. I had gone into the city to find a book at a new age book store. When I walked through the door, it felt like I had walked into an old friends place. There on the wall was a poster depicting Pele. I bought that picture of Pele and have carried it with me where ever I have lived.
Pele is the ancient volcano Goddess from Polynesia. She currently resides on the Big Island of Hawaii. I have felt her many times in the last few years. She has given me help when I needed it. I felt her invitation to live in Hawaii 3 years ago and watched as she set up the synchronicities needed to make that possible. I was able to spend 7 months in the Kona area, rediscovering old Hawaii. I visited many ancient places of power and had connection to past, present, and future knowledge. 
Hank Wesselman’s trilogy of “SpiritWalker,” “MedicineMaker,” and “VisionSeeker,” gave me a greater understanding of the things that were offered to me.
When Pele asked me if I wanted her to take care of the “Wicked Witch,” My mind was immediately taken to part of Hank Wesselman’s story in MedicineMaker. 
Hank says, “ ... There was no question as to who was responsible There could be only one man who would do this unthinkable thing. Nainoa’s anger surged into a blinding rage, and all of the outrages he had suffered in his life, all of the abuses and injustices, emerged from with his soul to feed his fury. The hissing rush increased in his ears, and a deep snarl emerged from his lips, causing Milo to look up in alarm. It was not a human sound. 
As Paleko’s hateful visage emerged within his mind’s eye, Nainoa felt the immense mana generated by his extreme emotion surge outward toward the priest, and he knew that had Paleko been standing before him at this moment, he would surely have killed him. 
At that moment he felt the release. It was as though he was buffeted by a gust of wind - a blazingly hot burst that departed as suddenly as it arrived. Simultaneously he felt his rage cool, subsiding into a dull, bitter anger once again. And with this shift, he regained control of his inner emotional state.”
Hank goes on with the story to explain that Paleko was killed by a “Tiger.” ... “Nainoa became very still as the realization hit him” ... 
All this went through my mind, I knew that If I had wanted Pele to take care of the “Wicked Witch,” it would have been done in an instant. My higher spiritual self cautioned me, and I thanked Pele for her offer and only asked for her protection from any harmful forces.
When I was a child, I learned as a child. As an adult, I am being opened to many different possibilities. I do not fear for my life or my safety. I know that I have many guardians and spirit helpers. There are seen and unseen warriors who watch over me.
Each of us have “angelic” beings who help and protect us. When we work together in harmony with our spirit helpers, our lives are enhanced with a richness and a fullness of life.
The “Wicked Witch?” 
        She will continue to create her own path. Every negative thing she does will come back as a lesson to teach her about consequences of thoughts and actions.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ding Dong

Ding Dong ...
I woke up with a song in my head this morning. It is a reminder of my encounter with the town Drama Queen at the post office yesterday. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
It began late last spring when I ask permission to cross land that bordered the state park at Wide Hollow. I had an idea for a walking trail. A Walking trail to link the state park with Escalante. 
There was support from the town council and the Mayor for the same idea. The park ranger said money was available for developing the trail. Everyone I spoke with agreed it would be good for the community.
Many of the people here are long time residents. Their families helped settle the town. They have raised their children here and depend on each other for support. When there is a need, people gather and help. In the spring, volunteers meet by the old Escalante High School sign to help clean up main street by cleaning the flower beds and pulling the weeds. In the summer when the town overflows with visitors for the 24th of July celebration, they meet at the city park to help with the carnival and food. There are community plays where we can laugh and enjoy the neighborly spirit. It isn’t quite like Mayberry with Andy Taylor, but it is close. 
When I proposed the idea for a walking trail, I had a feeling that there was more to this trail, than just a trail. Opposition in life creates an opportunity for improvement and growth. The ability to forgive ourselves and others for wrongs in our past directly affects the present and future. This trail project has opened my eyes to the personal dramas that shape people and families and communities. It has shown me how events far back into the past can continue to plague and poison the present. 
When I meet opposition, I try to avoid a confrontation. My preferred method of resolution is to talk calmly and plainly to find an understanding and agreement for the problem. 
Yesterday that method failed. I was verbally attacked by our town Drama Queen for an offense that began many years ago. She has been carrying old dramas that have shaped her life and the life of others around her. The old timers here have learned to live with her and her dramas. I have not. The trail project is on hold. Unresolved issues from the past are haunting the present.
Something deep inside me was awakened at the post office yesterday when I was attacked.  I have been processing through the night to get a clear picture in my mind. I have faith in the human spirit to overcome and unite in harmony. Within each of us are the inner abilities to meet and overcome each of life’s challenges, no matter what form they may take. 
I have found three old friends again thanks to opposition. 
Welcome back Scarecrow.
Welcome back Tin Man. 
Welcome back Lion. 
Yesterday it was Courage and Heart combined with an inner awareness from my Higher Self that allowed me to face the Wicked Witch. She didn’t have her broom or her hat, but she stood there in front of the post office with all her drama. A scene right out of the Wizard of Oz.
I am grateful for these old friends. They have come to my rescue on other occasions. I can feel when they are near. It is comforting to know that within all of us are the solutions to the problems that confront us.
I met the Old Witch before. 
Another lifetime? 
This time she is the Drama Queen. 
Next time it may be another Vixen. How ever she chooses to appear, I will recognize her. 
We all play the villain and the hero at times to help each other recognize our own inner potential. Without polarity, there is only mediocracy.
I can thank the Drama Queen for giving me a reminder of who I am. She reintroduced me to some old friends who will keep me company as I journey along my road of life.

The river trail? I have faith in the ability of the community to join in unity. The words of the song still echo ... 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Fighting the winter blues

On sunny days you will still find me out with the chickens, they are the ones I have to thank for this latest gift of nature. My kitchen window faces North. As I prepare breakfast each morning I notice the chickens sunning against the South facing fence. I decided to go out this morning and get a closer look. Even though the temperature was less than 20 degrees outside, the radiant warming rays of the sun were enough to make me uncomfortably warm in my coat.
I had a daring idea. I went inside and put on my shorts and came out to sun with the chickens. I am sitting here in the sunshine with the outside temperature freezing, and yet I am able to feel the suns healing and warming rays. I won’t have to loose my summer tan after all.
The winter blues are something that most of us are familiar with. They mirror our indoor captivity and our need to be outside. I have been a little concerned with being here in this small community in the winter because of its isolation and lack of activities in the colder months. I have now found a new winter sport. Winter sunning. Sunning surrounded by snow and chickens, I can feel the healing rays of the sun penetrating my body and soul.
I brought my laptop and my music player outside too. I put on “A Secret Beach,” by Rich Shipley, closed my eyes and I can feel myself on the beach at Pu`uhonua o Honaunau National Historical Park, on the Big Island of Hawaii. It was one of my favorite places to sun when I lived there. I took many lazy naps there in the shade of the palms, just past the picnic benches going south towards Kings trail. I can almost smell the fresh breeze from the ocean, there in the distance I can hear the song of the humpback whales as I drift off into a pleasant morning nap. 
When the need arises, nature provides the perfect solution.
Nature is always the best medicine. Zzzzzzzzzzz....

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Why do we do it?

Why do we do it?
Why are we so willing to give up everything that is most precious to us? I have been fighting an urge to give my most prized possession away, my sovereignty. The liberty to decide my thoughts and actions. 
I have always liked gadgets, especially electronic gadgets. I started out as a kid when I built an AM radio from a kit I got at Radio Shack, It didn’t even need a battery. I started taking old radios apart and got to where I could actually fix some of them. I did the same with the old TV’s. I remember when calculators came out. They were simple in comparison to what we have today. I started out with a simple calculator, it helped me to do computations much faster when I was in school. Then I noticed someone had a newer model, one that could do logarithms and complex equations, I wanted one too. 
When 4 track tapes came out, I bought one for my car. My brother brought one back from the Philippines when he came home. It had all the newest features. I thought I had it all.
I could probably fill a room with all the electronics that I have bought over the years. Most of them are now obsolete dinosaurs.
My latest urge has been wether or not to get a cell phone. That may seem a basic need to most people. I want one of those smart phones, the ones that do everything. You can’t help from seeing all the ads for the latest model.
My mind keeps fighting with my heart over what to do. My mind wants to have the ease of having information and connectedness available whenever I choose. My heart keeps reminding me that I already have those features built in.
There was a time in the 90’s when I sold my home in Provo, Utah and set out in a truck and trailer to find myself. I went from place to place looking for that special area where I would feel, “At Home.” I traveled through Utah, Arizona, and Colorado looking for the perfect place. It was a grand adventure. I was out of contact for weeks at a time. I even missed the L.A. Riots. 
I was in a campground near Mt. Nebo in Utah, when I kept getting a feeling to call a friend. When I followed the prompting, I found that they had been looking for me because they were worried. I discovered that I had an ability to feel and sense when someone was looking for me. I didn’t always follow through with those promptings, but when I did, I found it always worked for me.
That is the struggle that I am having with myself right now. I have within me the ability to connect with anyone and anything. I can get any kind of information that I might want to know within my own being. I can connect with a matrix of unlimited knowledge. We all have this ability. Sometimes I am lazy and don’t want to put in the effort to get it for myself.
I have watched my family and friends with their phones. They have their whole life stored in that memory chip. When someone looses a phone, it turns life upside down. 
I want to keep my ability to connect from within. If I give up my inner ability to communicate, get information, or directions, that I am cheating myself. My best adventures have been when I have listened to my own inner promptings. My inner guidance system is far superior to any that is on the market. 
Advances are being made to implant chips in our bodies that will connect us with super computers. This will allow us to have instant information available whenever we choose. This is no longer science fiction but science fact. 
Research on BCIs began in the 1970s at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) under a grant from the National Science Foundation, followed by a contract from DARPA. The papers published after this research also mark the first appearance of the expression brain–computer interface in scientific literature. Questions arise in a brain-computer interface (BCI.) Mind reading, privacy, mind-control, and interrogation are possible risks.
My heart keeps on reminding me that I have the most advanced system available for connecting with the world and the universe. All I have to do is to stop giving my liberty away by choosing electronic gadgets over my own built in network. My own inner ability will always be better than any electronic advancement.

Wheel of Fortune

Wheel of Fortune
I turned on the TV the other day and there it was, Wheel of Fortune. The program that so captured my attention those many years ago in that little Kansas Jail. There was Pat and Vanna doing their thing, a little bit older now. It is amazing how Television seems to keep them so young looking. They were much younger when they made such an impression on me. I guess I was younger too. I was looking for myself, full of spice and vinegar, I thought I had it all figured out. 
My son was living with his mother in Washington. The state of Utah had declared that I was supposed to pay child support, That is where this story all began. I had decided that it was an unfair judgement, but what could I do? They were the government and I was only an unhappy father. 
I met a man, there in Kansas, who was part of the Patriot Movement and another man who had gotten out of the system. They told me how I could do the same. I didn’t feel to do what they had done, but I decided to take control of my life and assert myself. 
When the letters started to arrive from the state of Utah, I ignored them. They were persistent and threatening so I decided I would let them know how I felt. I called up the office and told them who I was and told them they didn’t have any jurisdiction over me because I now lived in Kansas. The letters stopped. I told them!  Several weeks passed, one day when I got the mail, there was a letter from the state of Kansas. It was an invitation to a party. Actually, it was a summons to appear before a local judge. I decided to ignore it. After all I had planned a trip to Utah and it would be inconvenient, I would be gone on that date, what could they do to me? I was out of town, I would just claim that I hadn’t received their letter.
I took that trip, had a wonderful time. I had only been home a couple of days when he arrived. The Sheriff from Donovan County. Not the Andy Griffith I had watched on TV, He meant business and asked me to come with him. He told me to get a toothbrush and some personal items as I would be spending some time away from home.
That was how I was introduced to Pat and Vanna. Each day around dinner time the little Black and White TV was turned on. There it was, Wheel of Fortune. I had to look through the bars of my cell to watch. This is inconvenient, I thought to my self. Why can’t I have my own TV? 
The Sheriff told me I wouldn’t be able to see the judge until Monday. It was only Thursday, and They wanted me to be sure to attend this party, I was the guest of honor. I learned about TV dinners in that little jail, and TV breakfasts and TV lunches. The smoke was so strong I asked to be placed in another cell. They only had two cells. There were 3 other men here, they didn’t seem so bad, but the smoke was strong. I got my wish, I was placed in solitary, alone. I had a steel toilet, steel sink and steel cot with a blanket, oh yeah and my toothbrush. There I sat, wasn’t much else to do. Couldn’t see the TV, but I could hear it.
When I told the jailer I was fasting, he wasn’t happy. They like to have their guests happy and fed each day. I explained, I was looking for answers to my life and that this would help me. Each morning, noon, and evening, the TV dinners would be placed on the shelf, and the sheriff would check on me to see if I had eaten anything. He was concerned, I reassured him I was still alive and healthy. I lost a few pounds, during my long weekend getaway. 
That little Kansas jail gave me a chance to find out some things about myself. What did I want out of life? How would I choose to interact with others? What is it that will bring happiness? I found myself in that jail, and along with Pat and Vanna, I entered life again. A new man with a new perspective on life and the rules that we live by. It had only been a few weeks earlier that I had stood out in that field and shouted at God. I had demanded answers. Well, I got my answers, along with the lessons of life that helped to bring me to where I am now. I am able to see the richness of life around me and appreciate the differences that we all have. I can look at a sunrise and only imagine all the wonderful things that life has to offer me. Life has been a wonderful teacher to me. I try to see the bigger picture now when new lessons come up before me. I want to be a good student because some of these lessons are hard and If I fail, they will keep coming back until I get it right.  Blessings and Love to all as your “wheels of fortune” ....  Bring you closer towards your sunsets.

Walking Sticks
It is almost noon and time to check the mail and see who else is there.They are getting the latest bit of news for the day. As I walked the 2 blocks to the post office today, I saw another distant relative. I can’t remember the connection for sure, he told me but I can’t remember. There he was with his walking stick. When I first met him he had that walking stick, walking proudly and showing off his carving skills. It is a magnificent piece of art work. A little dirty from the everyday use it gets. But, nonetheless a piece of artwork in the making. Sometimes he sits in front of the post office visiting with those that stop, sometimes I see him down at the local grocery store sitting on the bench, greeting people as they come and go. Sometimes I sit with him and we share stories. He has good stories. A bachelor all his life, living alone now and doing things his own way. He told me about a time when he was friends with another man who used to live here. That man is now gone, but he told me how they used to travel the local hills and mountains looking for Indian artifacts. They found them too. He told me about one time they were looking into some rocks up around rattlesnake hill. He said, “It got real spooky, I could feel the spirits of the ones who were buried here. I knew that they were unhappy with us, disturbing their burial places and all, I knew I had to leave and never return.” He told me that he would take me out and show me some of the places that he had found over the years.
That was months ago, maybe longer, I’m not sure now. He tells me the same stories over and over, I just smile and let him share. It must be lonely to live alone as he has done. I asked him when he was going to finish his walking stick? “Don’t know,” he said. How long have you been working on it? “Can’t remember for sure.”
I thought about my own walking stick. A client friend from Albuquerque gave it to me. She was starting a new life with a new husband and no longer needed or wanted the walking stick. I was thrilled to get it, not quite my style, but I knew I could turn it into something that would match my personalty. Years have passed and that walking stick now accompanies me on my difficult walks, the ones where I have to do some climbing. It really helps to have that extra bit of help when you are climbing over obstacles and rocks. I have carved and shaped that walking stick over the years. It kind of resembles me, or who I am. I think it is done. I may need to change it to match my changes. Our journey may take us places that I am unable to see right now. It is a comfort to have with me, gives me a little bit of confidence when I am feeling a little bit less sure.
Merlin, as I call my walking stick, he and I are somewhat the same. Both creations in the making. Walking into unknown places, trusting that we will be led to those places where we can do the most good. Allowing others to see us and even though I may get a bit of dirt on me at times, I am under construction from the Master Carver. I know that I am in good hands, I may need to have a little bit whittled here and there, a little bit of stain, maybe a little bit of crystal placed in just the right place. Whatever it may be, I know and trust the Masters hand. 

Vibrator Apps and upgrades for a dollar
My cheeks are still red from that conversation. Google confirmed it for me. Wow, I am a country boy living in the past. I used to make fun of my Utah relatives. 10 years behind California’s latest trends. That was 40 years ago, and now I am the one who is left in the dust. I don’t mind, it is a fair trade off. I have what I need to live and enjoy my life. I have resisted the trend to get a cell phone. I have my reasons. Sometimes it is inconvenient, especially when you need to make a call away from home. You used to be able to find a phone booth and spend a dime and make a call. Then it was a quarter. Then a quarter for 5 minutes. One day I needed a phone booth and I couldn’t find one. Oh, the odd one shows up in somebodies yard as decoration. A tourist stopped me on the street last summer and asked me where she could make a phone call. I couldn’t give her an answer. The local phone company is close by so I walked over and asked them about it. 
We don’t have them any more.
Why not?
Vandals, upkeep, and not enough revenue.
Remember Motel 6? The old original one where you could actually get a room for 6 dollars. Yah, hard for me to remember too. Remember the vibrator and the bed? You put a quarter in the box and the bed vibrated. It was a cheap thrill. 
Pay phones, a novel idea that lost its appeal and  profit. A thing of the past. Memories from the dinosaur era. I’ll bet if you attached one of those new Apps to the pay phone it would revive the phone industry. There would be people standing in line again, waiting to reach out and touch someone. Oh, and the upgrades for a dollar? 
You are going to have to come to the next monthly dinner to find the answer to that one. 
Good friends
Good memories
Good food. 

Twelve and Five

Twelve and Five
I was driving back from the city last Thursday and I was reminded of Twelve and Five, that is the position I assume when I live in this small community of Escalante. 
There are around 800 to 1000 people living here. The head count depends on whether there is a family reunion going on or a funeral taking place. Escalante swells a bit more in the summer when the weather is warm and the tourists are passing through. 
When I drive my truck, it is automatic, Twelve and Five. Sometimes I drive up to Wide Hollow to see if anyone is fishing on the dam. The water is lower now at the end of the season, the ducks and geese are enjoying the open water. I pass others out driving to see the changes with the weather. I am always ready with my finger.
Have you been to Hawaii? Everyone is so friendly in Hawaii. The tourist books give you the basics of being friendly to the locals. The locals use hand signals with each other and you just pick it up. You have to learn it because after the first 2 or 3 people give it to you, it is just plain polite to give it back. Hawaiians call it the Shaka. If you are walking it is easy to do, but when you are driving it is best to keep your hands in the ready position, that way you will be ready to give it when someone gives it to you. If you want to give it first, that is acceptable, then you can watch the other person hurriedly give it back.
The country wave is what I call it here in Escalante, the one finger wave. You will recognize it by the Twelve and Five position on the steering wheel. You have to be quick too, a moments hesitation, and it is too late. It is always proper to use your first finger, the index finger. You have to keep that finger ready, you never know when it might be given to you and you will need to return it.
There is another wave that I see in the cities, It is a one finger wave too. However this finger is usually the middle finger and the person on the other end is making a mad face. I don’t care for the city wave, it doesn’t come with a smile and the person giving it doesn’t expect to get one back. City people may either be driving with both hands clenched around the steering wheel or they are texting to someone while trying to stay on the road. Waves of any kind are usually returned with a frown or a “Who are you?” look.
It is always important to know where you are. Knowing where you are will help you to be able to give the proper wave. It is might be embarrassing if you give the wrong wave in the wrong place. If you give the right wave in the right place, everyone understands. All this waving may confuse some drivers, so they don’t ever wave. That sends a message too.  
You can learn a lot about a person by the wave they use. Most of us understand the message intended by the sender. Waves always come with feelings. It may lift our spirits or might do the opposite. I always enjoy a good wave from a friendly person. It makes me feel better about myself and about the person who gave it to me.  Sometimes I give the country wave in the city. There are some who understand the message and give it back. I have tried to use the Shaka here, but it doesn’t always work. You can always tell someone who has been to Hawaii, they smile and give it right back. We may both drift a bit in our thoughts remembering the friendly people, the fond memories, and the beautiful smiles, all from a simple wave ...