Ten

10

Ten is a number that has many meanings. Recently Ten has come to mean a new challenge in my life.

Bo Derek’s movie 10 has been associated with physical perfection, although this standard is artificially contrived to promote an industry standard of beautiful people based on commercial exploitation of low self esteem.

Ten is a two digit number which can represent any number of meanings in our world today.

My Ten represents the age of my challenge. 

It has long hair, girlish freckles and changing hormones.

My recent change in marital status includes a Ten year old step daughter.

She is the product of a changing world where divorce creates unique challenges to continuity in a child’s life. 

My sudden arrival in the equation of parents and households has upset the previous fragile balance of parenting, schooling and home environments.

So, what is my role in this new matrix?

Husband and partner with my wife? Check!

Father and playmate to a step child? Not sure.

How do I integrate myself into this matrix successfully?

My parenting skills are minimal. Opportunity to raise my own sons and divorce denied me that lesson.

So … the wisdom of observation, intuitive reasoning, patience, long walks in the park, and creative sub-parenting are my subset to meet my “Ten.”

My hope is that this energetic freckle face child can be patient with a better late than never step father who wants to see a happy successful child who is able to meet the challenges of Ten’s in her life.

My life was once One, and that number was the loneliest number that I ever lived, so Ten is my lesson for today and tomorrow and hopefully a long time to come.

Our lives will always be filled with One’s, Two’s, Three’s and Ten’s. 

Our ability to meet and successfully integrate these numbers and life experiences will color and enrich our lives immeasurably.

Giving back and paying forward

Giving Back and Paying Forward

I have been blessed.

I found the secret of turning negatives into positives.

It wasn’t always so.

My struggles are not unique. 

School, relationships, work and finding balance in life have been my challenges.

I was in my 40’s when I decided that life just didn’t feel right.

Marriage had been a struggle, work was no longer satisfying, debt had taken control of my conscious thoughts and church had let me down.

Life was at a crises point and I didn’t know what to do.

I was continually reminded of things that had gone wrong in my life and all the unresolved issues I had let slide. 

It seemed unsurmountable.

I decided to write out a list.

I made a list of all the areas in my life that needed attention. 

It was not a short list.

When I looked at the list as a whole, it seemed huge. My plan of attack was to take the list and work on items one at a time.

It took time, months went by, but one by one my list was getting smaller.

I felt better, I was more confident, I was clearer, more determined and more focused.

I approached those I had wounded and ask them to forgive me for being human.

I resolved to rid myself of debt.

I sold my expensive SUV and sold my house.

I paid off my debts went on a walk about.

It was an intensive period of 6 months. 

I bought a used truck and a small camp trailer and wandered the land looking for answers.

My marriage failed completely. 

My church excommunicated me. 

I no longer had a means of employment.

A divorce and yard sale took what had taken me a lifetime to accumulate.

I began to pray.

Feeling that my life was on a precipice, I went to the mountain top to fast and pray. 

I camped on the edge of a cliff, placed my sleeping bag on the ledge and decided that I would not come down until I had an answer.

Three days later, hungry and thirsty I descended the mountain with new resolve.

My old life gone, I resolved to start again, only this time I would follow my heart.

I detached from the hustle and bustle of being a worker bee and began to relax into my new life.

I read inspiring books, walked many miles and spent time in nature observing and asking questions.

I took my new life seriously.

One day while fervently praying on bended knee and asking for help I opened my eyes to see a skunk only a few feet away sitting calmly watching me.

My solemn meditation and prayer turned to panic and later into laughter.

I learned a lesson … take life lightly.

I learned to forgive myself and others for being human. 

I learned to find joy in simple things. 

Nature became my chapel. 

Chatter from the outer world became less important.

Free from the albatross of stuff that I had collected over the years, I found that I could live simply with only a few things.

Life has taken me many places.

My soul has been challenged many times.

Each challenge makes me stronger.

Each success brings more confidence.

Work now brings fulfillment and joy. 

I recently visited my old church and was able to express gratitude for the lessons learned and the freedom to follow my own path.

I found my secret to inner peace …

When life, work, partners, or companions create chaos in your life, learn to recognize the challenge as a lesson.

Look inward to find answers.

Ask your Spirit Guides and Angels to help you find answers.

Ask to understand why you have attracted this lesson.

Recognize that what you are now experiencing is a result of the vibrational frequencies you are sending out.

Experience each life lesson as a challenge and opportunity to grow, don’t shortcut your lesson or it will come back again.

Pass through your dark night of the soul and into the light.

Be gentle with yourself and others.

Forgive yourself and others.

Learn to love yourself and others fully.

Pay any debts that restrict your movement into a happier life whether they be monetary or promissory.

Always, always, always show and give gratitude for the lessons, blessings, and challenges that shape your world.

Give back to those who help you.

Pay forward all that you have received.

Your flow of life can be a happy, natural, pleasant experience once you align with the true purpose of your life.

Don't focus on weeds

Don’t focus on weeds

I recently had a conversation with a colleague who was dissatisfied with work and life in general. He talked about the difficulties he encountered during his struggle to find peace and fulfillment. 

He recounted discrimination and pressure he felt from his employer. 

His work skills were being minimized by menial tasks and subordinate duties. 

I could feel the frustration and his desire to find something that would bring fruition to his life. 

His chosen profession was law.

His firm focused on litigation. 

He wanted to practice mediation.

During the conversation he talked about all the weeds he would have to encounter to reach his goal.

I asked what his perfect dream job would be.

He began to describe his passion to help people through mediation.

He recounted his successes. 

His current employer would not allow him to engage in any law activity outside his job and thus kept him from doing what he loved most.

He talked about how the job description had been padded by the employer.

The reality of the position was entirely different from his expectation.

His real desire was to open a business where he could do what he loved. His predicament was finding suitable income to sustain him during the transition between the old menial job and his new dream job.

He again brought up the weeds he would have to encounter along the way. 

At this point I stopped him.

I refocused the conversation. 

Weeds will always be a part of life but our choice of what we focus on will make all the difference. If we can see flowers along the way, weeds will be minimal and the journey more memorable.

As a young man one of my first jobs was lawn care. It gave me spending money, got me out of the house and gave me a sense of accomplishment. 

Each spring I would place an ad in the paper for jobs which would keep me busy all summer.

When I took on a new customer, invariably I would find lots of weeds, an unkept lawn and overgrown bushes and trees that needed trimming.

As a young man it was hard not to focus on the weeds and overgrowth. 

At the end of the day when the grass was mowed, bushes molded and shaped and trees trimmed, I felt a sense of satisfaction. The cherry on top was the money that I earned. After that first initial push of cleaning and trimming, the rest of the summer was an easy money maker.

My lesson in life has been to keep focus on the reward and the end result, not about weeds along the way.

Walking my stepdaughter to school today I smelled the strong smell of poison pesticides. The lawn care professionals had been kind enough to post signs that it was not safe to walk on the grass, unfortunately they did not warn me of the danger of inhaling the fumes and toxic residues left by their choice of products. 

The price we pay for chemically manicured lawns and gardens is too high. 

The price we pay for a manicured life and job is too high. 

Society has mandated that we conform to standards that are not healthy choices.

Find out what is more important to you … peace and contentment or conformity to artificial standards.

My answer is to keep focus on the end result.

The path you choose and the focus of your intention will make the difference between finding weeds or peace and fulfillment.