Ding Dong

Ding Dong ...

I woke up with a song in my head this morning. It is a reminder of my encounter with the town Drama Queen at the post office yesterday. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

It began late last spring when I ask permission to cross land that bordered the state park at Wide Hollow. I had an idea for a walking trail. A Walking trail to link the state park with Escalante. 

There was support from the town council and the Mayor for the same idea. The park ranger said money was available for developing the trail. Everyone I spoke with agreed it would be good for the community.

Many of the people here are long time residents. Their families helped settle the town. They have raised their children here and depend on each other for support. When there is a need, people gather and help. In the spring, volunteers meet by the old Escalante High School sign to help clean up main street by cleaning the flower beds and pulling the weeds. In the summer when the town overflows with visitors for the 24th of July celebration, they meet at the city park to help with the carnival and food. There are community plays where we can laugh and enjoy the neighborly spirit. It isn’t quite like Mayberry with Andy Taylor, but it is close. 

When I proposed the idea for a walking trail, I had a feeling that there was more to this trail, than just a trail. Opposition in life creates an opportunity for improvement and growth. The ability to forgive ourselves and others for wrongs in our past directly affects the present and future. This trail project has opened my eyes to the personal dramas that shape people and families and communities. It has shown me how events far back into the past can continue to plague and poison the present. 

When I meet opposition, I try to avoid a confrontation. My preferred method of resolution is to talk calmly and plainly to find an understanding and agreement for the problem. 

Yesterday that method failed. I was verbally attacked by our town Drama Queen for an offense that began many years ago. She has been carrying old dramas that have shaped her life and the life of others around her. The old timers here have learned to live with her and her dramas. I have not. The trail project is on hold. Unresolved issues from the past are haunting the present.

Something deep inside me was awakened at the post office yesterday when I was attacked.  I have been processing through the night to get a clear picture in my mind. I have faith in the human spirit to overcome and unite in harmony. Within each of us are the inner abilities to meet and overcome each of life’s challenges, no matter what form they may take. 

I have found three old friends again thanks to opposition. 

Welcome back Scarecrow.

Welcome back Tin Man. 

Welcome back Lion. 

Yesterday it was Courage and Heart combined with an inner awareness from my Higher Self that allowed me to face the Wicked Witch. She didn’t have her broom or her hat, but she stood there in front of the post office with all her drama. A scene right out of the Wizard of Oz.

I am grateful for these old friends. They have come to my rescue on other occasions. I can feel when they are near. It is comforting to know that within all of us are the solutions to the problems that confront us.

I met the Old Witch before. 

Another lifetime? 

This time she is the Drama Queen. 

Next time it may be another Vixen. How ever she chooses to appear, I will recognize her. 

We all play the villain and the hero at times to help each other recognize our own inner potential. Without polarity, there is only mediocracy.

I can thank the Drama Queen for giving me a reminder of who I am. She reintroduced me to some old friends who will keep me company as I journey along my road of life.

The river trail? I have faith in the ability of the community to join in unity. The words of the song still echo ... 

Winter blues

On sunny days you will still find me out with the chickens, they are the ones I have to thank for this latest gift of nature. My kitchen window faces North. As I prepare breakfast each morning I notice the chickens sunning against the South facing fence. I decided to go out this morning and get a closer look. Even though the temperature was less than 20 degrees outside, the radiant warming rays of the sun were enough to make me uncomfortably warm in my coat.

I had a daring idea. I went inside and put on my shorts and came out to sun with the chickens. I am sitting here in the sunshine with the outside temperature freezing, and yet I am able to feel the suns healing and warming rays. I won’t have to loose my summer tan after all.

The winter blues are something that most of us are familiar with. They mirror our indoor captivity and our need to be outside. I have been a little concerned with being here in this small community in the winter because of its isolation and lack of activities in the colder months. I have now found a new winter sport. Winter sunning. Sunning surrounded by snow and chickens, I can feel the healing rays of the sun penetrating my body and soul.

I brought my laptop and my music player outside too. I put on “A Secret Beach,” by Rich Shipley, closed my eyes and I can feel myself on the beach at Pu`uhonua o Honaunau National Historical Park, on the Big Island of Hawaii. It was one of my favorite places to sun when I lived there. I took many lazy naps there in the shade of the palms, just past the picnic benches going south towards Kings trail. I can almost smell the fresh breeze from the ocean, there in the distance I can hear the song of the humpback whales as I drift off into a pleasant morning nap. 

When the need arises, nature provides the perfect solution.

Nature is always the best medicine. Zzzzzzzzzzz....

Why do we do it?

Why do we do it?

Why are we so willing to give up everything that is most precious to us? I have been fighting an urge to give my most prized possession away, my sovereignty. The liberty to decide my thoughts and actions. 

I have always liked gadgets, especially electronic gadgets. I started out as a kid when I built an AM radio from a kit I got at Radio Shack, It didn’t even need a battery. I started taking old radios apart and got to where I could actually fix some of them. I did the same with the old TV’s. I remember when calculators came out. They were simple in comparison to what we have today. I started out with a simple calculator, it helped me to do computations much faster when I was in school. Then I noticed someone had a newer model, one that could do logarithms and complex equations, I wanted one too. 

When 4 track tapes came out, I bought one for my car. My brother brought one back from the Philippines when he came home. It had all the newest features. I thought I had it all.

I could probably fill a room with all the electronics that I have bought over the years. Most of them are now obsolete dinosaurs.

My latest urge has been wether or not to get a cell phone. That may seem a basic need to most people. I want one of those smart phones, the ones that do everything. You can’t help from seeing all the ads for the latest model.

My mind keeps fighting with my heart over what to do. My mind wants to have the ease of having information and connectedness available whenever I choose. My heart keeps reminding me that I already have those features built in.

There was a time in the 90’s when I sold my home in Provo, Utah and set out in a truck and trailer to find myself. I went from place to place looking for that special area where I would feel, “At Home.” I traveled through Utah, Arizona, and Colorado looking for the perfect place. It was a grand adventure. I was out of contact for weeks at a time. I even missed the L.A. Riots. 

I was in a campground near Mt. Nebo in Utah, when I kept getting a feeling to call a friend. When I followed the prompting, I found that they had been looking for me because they were worried. I discovered that I had an ability to feel and sense when someone was looking for me. I didn’t always follow through with those promptings, but when I did, I found it always worked for me.

That is the struggle that I am having with myself right now. I have within me the ability to connect with anyone and anything. I can get any kind of information that I might want to know within my own being. I can connect with a matrix of unlimited knowledge. We all have this ability. Sometimes I am lazy and don’t want to put in the effort to get it for myself.

I have watched my family and friends with their phones. They have their whole life stored in that memory chip. When someone looses a phone, it turns life upside down. 

I want to keep my ability to connect from within. If I give up my inner ability to communicate, get information, or directions, that I am cheating myself. My best adventures have been when I have listened to my own inner promptings. My inner guidance system is far superior to any that is on the market. 

Advances are being made to implant chips in our bodies that will connect us with super computers. This will allow us to have instant information available whenever we choose. This is no longer science fiction but science fact. 

Research on BCIs began in the 1970s at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) under a grant from the National Science Foundation, followed by a contract from DARPA. The papers published after this research also mark the first appearance of the expression brain–computer interface in scientific literature. Questions arise in a brain-computer interface (BCI.) Mind reading, privacy, mind-control, and interrogation are possible risks.

My heart keeps on reminding me that I have the most advanced system available for connecting with the world and the universe. All I have to do is to stop giving my liberty away by choosing electronic gadgets over my own built in network. My own inner ability will always be better than any electronic advancement.

Wheel of Fortune

Wheel of Fortune

I turned on the TV the other day and there it was, Wheel of Fortune. The program that so captured my attention those many years ago in that little Kansas Jail. There was Pat and Vanna doing their thing, a little bit older now. It is amazing how Television seems to keep them so young looking. They were much younger when they made such an impression on me. I guess I was younger too. I was looking for myself, full of spice and vinegar, I thought I had it all figured out. 

My son was living with his mother in Washington. The state of Utah had declared that I was supposed to pay child support, That is where this story all began. I had decided that it was an unfair judgement, but what could I do? They were the government and I was only an unhappy father. 

I met a man, there in Kansas, who was part of the Patriot Movement and another man who had gotten out of the system. They told me how I could do the same. I didn’t feel to do what they had done, but I decided to take control of my life and assert myself. 

When the letters started to arrive from the state of Utah, I ignored them. They were persistent and threatening so I decided I would let them know how I felt. I called up the office and told them who I was and told them they didn’t have any jurisdiction over me because I now lived in Kansas. The letters stopped. I told them!  Several weeks passed, one day when I got the mail, there was a letter from the state of Kansas. It was an invitation to a party. Actually, it was a summons to appear before a local judge. I decided to ignore it. After all I had planned a trip to Utah and it would be inconvenient, I would be gone on that date, what could they do to me? I was out of town, I would just claim that I hadn’t received their letter.

I took that trip, had a wonderful time. I had only been home a couple of days when he arrived. The Sheriff from Donovan County. Not the Andy Griffith I had watched on TV, He meant business and asked me to come with him. He told me to get a toothbrush and some personal items as I would be spending some time away from home.

That was how I was introduced to Pat and Vanna. Each day around dinner time the little Black and White TV was turned on. There it was, Wheel of Fortune. I had to look through the bars of my cell to watch. This is inconvenient, I thought to my self. Why can’t I have my own TV? 

The Sheriff told me I wouldn’t be able to see the judge until Monday. It was only Thursday, and They wanted me to be sure to attend this party, I was the guest of honor. I learned about TV dinners in that little jail, and TV breakfasts and TV lunches. The smoke was so strong I asked to be placed in another cell. They only had two cells. There were 3 other men here, they didn’t seem so bad, but the smoke was strong. I got my wish, I was placed in solitary, alone. I had a steel toilet, steel sink and steel cot with a blanket, oh yeah and my toothbrush. There I sat, wasn’t much else to do. Couldn’t see the TV, but I could hear it.

When I told the jailer I was fasting, he wasn’t happy. They like to have their guests happy and fed each day. I explained, I was looking for answers to my life and that this would help me. Each morning, noon, and evening, the TV dinners would be placed on the shelf, and the sheriff would check on me to see if I had eaten anything. He was concerned, I reassured him I was still alive and healthy. I lost a few pounds, during my long weekend getaway. 

That little Kansas jail gave me a chance to find out some things about myself. What did I want out of life? How would I choose to interact with others? What is it that will bring happiness? I found myself in that jail, and along with Pat and Vanna, I entered life again. A new man with a new perspective on life and the rules that we live by. It had only been a few weeks earlier that I had stood out in that field and shouted at God. I had demanded answers. Well, I got my answers, along with the lessons of life that helped to bring me to where I am now. I am able to see the richness of life around me and appreciate the differences that we all have. I can look at a sunrise and only imagine all the wonderful things that life has to offer me. Life has been a wonderful teacher to me. I try to see the bigger picture now when new lessons come up before me. I want to be a good student because some of these lessons are hard and If I fail, they will keep coming back until I get it right.  Blessings and Love to all as your “wheels of fortune” ....  Bring you closer towards your sunsets.

Walking sticks

Walking Sticks

It is almost noon and time to check the mail and see who else is there.They are getting the latest bit of news for the day. As I walked the 2 blocks to the post office today, I saw another distant relative. I can’t remember the connection for sure, he told me but I can’t remember. There he was with his walking stick. When I first met him he had that walking stick, walking proudly and showing off his carving skills. It is a magnificent piece of art work. A little dirty from the everyday use it gets. But, nonetheless a piece of artwork in the making. Sometimes he sits in front of the post office visiting with those that stop, sometimes I see him down at the local grocery store sitting on the bench, greeting people as they come and go. Sometimes I sit with him and we share stories. He has good stories. A bachelor all his life, living alone now and doing things his own way. He told me about a time when he was friends with another man who used to live here. That man is now gone, but he told me how they used to travel the local hills and mountains looking for Indian artifacts. They found them too. He told me about one time they were looking into some rocks up around rattlesnake hill. He said, “It got real spooky, I could feel the spirits of the ones who were buried here. I knew that they were unhappy with us, disturbing their burial places and all, I knew I had to leave and never return.” He told me that he would take me out and show me some of the places that he had found over the years.

That was months ago, maybe longer, I’m not sure now. He tells me the same stories over and over, I just smile and let him share. It must be lonely to live alone as he has done. I asked him when he was going to finish his walking stick? “Don’t know,” he said. How long have you been working on it? “Can’t remember for sure.”

I thought about my own walking stick. A client friend from Albuquerque gave it to me. She was starting a new life with a new husband and no longer needed or wanted the walking stick. I was thrilled to get it, not quite my style, but I knew I could turn it into something that would match my personalty. Years have passed and that walking stick now accompanies me on my difficult walks, the ones where I have to do some climbing. It really helps to have that extra bit of help when you are climbing over obstacles and rocks. I have carved and shaped that walking stick over the years. It kind of resembles me, or who I am. I think it is done. I may need to change it to match my changes. Our journey may take us places that I am unable to see right now. It is a comfort to have with me, gives me a little bit of confidence when I am feeling a little bit less sure.

Merlin, as I call my walking stick, he and I are somewhat the same. Both creations in the making. Walking into unknown places, trusting that we will be led to those places where we can do the most good. Allowing others to see us and even though I may get a bit of dirt on me at times, I am under construction from the Master Carver. I know that I am in good hands, I may need to have a little bit whittled here and there, a little bit of stain, maybe a little bit of crystal placed in just the right place. Whatever it may be, I know and trust the Masters hand. 

My cheeks are still red

Vibrator Apps and upgrades for a dollar

My cheeks are still red from that conversation. Google confirmed it for me. Wow, I am a country boy living in the past. I used to make fun of my Utah relatives. 10 years behind California’s latest trends. That was 40 years ago, and now I am the one who is left in the dust. I don’t mind, it is a fair trade off. I have what I need to live and enjoy my life. I have resisted the trend to get a cell phone. I have my reasons. Sometimes it is inconvenient, especially when you need to make a call away from home. You used to be able to find a phone booth and spend a dime and make a call. Then it was a quarter. Then a quarter for 5 minutes. One day I needed a phone booth and I couldn’t find one. Oh, the odd one shows up in somebodies yard as decoration. A tourist stopped me on the street last summer and asked me where she could make a phone call. I couldn’t give her an answer. The local phone company is close by so I walked over and asked them about it. 

We don’t have them any more.

Why not?

Vandals, upkeep, and not enough revenue.

Remember Motel 6? The old original one where you could actually get a room for 6 dollars. Yah, hard for me to remember too. Remember the vibrator and the bed? You put a quarter in the box and the bed vibrated. It was a cheap thrill. 

Pay phones, a novel idea that lost its appeal and  profit. A thing of the past. Memories from the dinosaur era. I’ll bet if you attached one of those new Apps to the pay phone it would revive the phone industry. There would be people standing in line again, waiting to reach out and touch someone. Oh, and the upgrades for a dollar? 

You are going to have to come to the next monthly dinner to find the answer to that one. 

Good friends

Good memories

Good food. 

Twelve and Five

Twelve and Five

I was driving back from the city last Thursday and I was reminded of Twelve and Five, that is the position I assume when I live in this small community of Escalante. 

There are around 800 to 1000 people living here. The head count depends on whether there is a family reunion going on or a funeral taking place. Escalante swells a bit more in the summer when the weather is warm and the tourists are passing through. 

When I drive my truck, it is automatic, Twelve and Five. Sometimes I drive up to Wide Hollow to see if anyone is fishing on the dam. The water is lower now at the end of the season, the ducks and geese are enjoying the open water. I pass others out driving to see the changes with the weather. I am always ready with my finger.

Have you been to Hawaii? Everyone is so friendly in Hawaii. The tourist books give you the basics of being friendly to the locals. The locals use hand signals with each other and you just pick it up. You have to learn it because after the first 2 or 3 people give it to you, it is just plain polite to give it back. Hawaiians call it the Shaka. If you are walking it is easy to do, but when you are driving it is best to keep your hands in the ready position, that way you will be ready to give it when someone gives it to you. If you want to give it first, that is acceptable, then you can watch the other person hurriedly give it back.

The country wave is what I call it here in Escalante, the one finger wave. You will recognize it by the Twelve and Five position on the steering wheel. You have to be quick too, a moments hesitation, and it is too late. It is always proper to use your first finger, the index finger. You have to keep that finger ready, you never know when it might be given to you and you will need to return it.

There is another wave that I see in the cities, It is a one finger wave too. However this finger is usually the middle finger and the person on the other end is making a mad face. I don’t care for the city wave, it doesn’t come with a smile and the person giving it doesn’t expect to get one back. City people may either be driving with both hands clenched around the steering wheel or they are texting to someone while trying to stay on the road. Waves of any kind are usually returned with a frown or a “Who are you?” look.

It is always important to know where you are. Knowing where you are will help you to be able to give the proper wave. It is might be embarrassing if you give the wrong wave in the wrong place. If you give the right wave in the right place, everyone understands. All this waving may confuse some drivers, so they don’t ever wave. That sends a message too.  

You can learn a lot about a person by the wave they use. Most of us understand the message intended by the sender. Waves always come with feelings. It may lift our spirits or might do the opposite. I always enjoy a good wave from a friendly person. It makes me feel better about myself and about the person who gave it to me.  Sometimes I give the country wave in the city. There are some who understand the message and give it back. I have tried to use the Shaka here, but it doesn’t always work. You can always tell someone who has been to Hawaii, they smile and give it right back. We may both drift a bit in our thoughts remembering the friendly people, the fond memories, and the beautiful smiles, all from a simple wave ...