Doorways and stone plates

 Doorways and stone plates

I walked into Pioneer Provisions in Ephriam because I was curious. I wanted to see what kind of survival supplies they carried. 

It was 1994, I was talking with my wife about the movie we had just seen. It was a Sci-Fi movie called Stargate. The story line unfolds with an ancient device being uncovered that allows travel between worlds.

I must have been talking loud enough to be overheard because the owner asked me some questions about the movie. I excitedly reviewed the plot while we stood in the store. He listened patiently, then asked if I wanted to learn about some local artifacts.

I said I did. 

Several days later I went to his house and he told me his story.

Jerry had grown up in Sanpete Valley mostly alone. Family life for him had been lonely, he spent most of his time exploring the mountains surrounding the valley. He brought out some metal plates that he found and showed them to me. I examined each one as he handed them to me. They looked old and were covered with unfamiliar markings.

Jerry had been in the military. He had done some work in the middle east. He had a gift. The government recognized his natural ability to read ancient languages and used his skills.

Jerry told me that he had translated these plates. Each tiny plate contained about a chapter of information.

I asked him if the plates ever contained information that he didn’t agree with. He said, yes. I asked him what he did when that happened. He said, I don’t write that part down. 

He asked if I wanted to see where he found them, of course I said yes. We set up a time for our next meeting. He took me behind the Manti Temple. There along the old quarry were hundreds of petroglyphs, some faint, others bold and easy to see. He showed me the most prominent petroglyphs and said that they contained information that told him where to find other stone tablets. As we walked along the cliff he showed me many markings and then read them.

He took us on a walk along to top of the cliff and pointed out ancient stone pools. He showed us a large stone that had some notches. When you sighted along the markings, they pointed to a place across the valley holding more records.

Then the most curious thing happened. He told us that we had just passed a “doorway.”  He wouldn’t say exactly where it was but he told us a story. 

He said, one day he was walking along the dirt road and noticed a shimmering around this area. He said it looked like heat waves rising from the ground. When he walked closer it opened up into a kind of tunnel. Being curious, he ventured inside and followed a passage towards a light at the other end. He stepped out into the light and found himself nearly 30 miles from Manti near Fountain Green.

He told us there were other doorways in the valley. 

I have walked by that area many times in the years since and I have never seen the doorway. He told me that there was no magic involved. He even allowed someone else to go into the doorway with instructions not to go into any of the other corridors. He said if a person were meant to use the corridors the door would open.

There are many doorways here on the earth. Some are used to travel the earth while others are used to travel the universe. There are many ways to travel both externally and internally. 

When we are ready, the way is clear ...

Dream Catcher

Dream Catcher

I first became intrigued with dream catchers when I was exploring my Native American connections. I was living near Wathena, Kansas in a farmhouse that was built around 1850. The land was originally homesteaded by the Rice family and still belonged to them. The house had been remodeled but still retained many of the original features. The location was selected because of the spring that was on the property. During dry years, farmers would bring their wagons here to fill their barrels with water. When I moved there in 1996 with my wife, we spent several months cleaning the property and exploring the 400 acres that was in our back yard.

Several months before moving there I had gone on a scouting trip with my wife Pearlene and sister in law, Aloma. We were living at Lake Viking in Missouri. A friend told us about Wathena and we wanted to see the area ourselves. 

We drove through St. Joseph, Missouri and crossed over the Missouri River to Kansas. This is a farming community filled with rolling hills of corn, soy beans, and maize. It is also Indian country. Wathena is named after a well-known chief of the Kickapoo Indians who settled on this land in 1852. Kansas was named after the Kansa. A southwestern Siouan tribe. Northeastern Kansas remains home to four Indian reservations inhabited by members of the Potawatomi, Kickapoo, Sac and Fox, and Iowa tribes.

As we drove East along highway 36 toward Wathena we knew something special was about to happen. When Pearlene and Aloma got together with a common goal in mind, magic happened. This day was no different from the other adventures that we had all experienced together. 

There was a kind of energetic anticipation that we could all feel. 

When the energy began to form around us, it felt like we were entering into a time warp.

“Turn left here,” I was instructed. 

Down Monument Road we went. The pavement ended after a few miles and we found ourselves traveling a dirt road used by the farmers. To the left was the Missouri River gently winding around the hills. We passed a spring on the right that was flowing along the road. It was summer time and the trees were green and lush. The hillsides were covered in redbud trees, their red leaves blending with the dense undergrowth of the lush countryside.

“Can you feel it?”

“What?”

“The energy.”

“Yes.”

We could all feel the energy. The scenery went slightly out of focus and then came back into focus as we moved through a meadow.

There was a shift in our perceptions. It felt like we were entering a different time. 

“Turn right here,” they both said together. 

“Can you see it?” Said Aloma. She was visually psychic and could see the energy forming.

“No, but I can feel it,” said my wife. Pearlene could feel the mounting energy.

Up the hill we went. 

When we get to the top of the hill, “turn left,” I was told.

We traveled down Sheridan Lane south for a couple of miles while both Pearlene and Aloma became more and more animated. 

“I remember this area,” said Aloma and Pearlene.

I had to admit that it did look somehow familiar.

“Stop!”

“This is where we lived.”

We all got out of the car and looked out over the hillside. The green rolling hills of the Kansas countryside was beautiful. Trees covered the hills, grass grew everywhere, to our left we could see the Missouri River snaking its way through the low lying hills. It was a beautiful scenic overlook.

“I remember this area,” they both said together. 

“Our tipi was over there.” 

“We were a family together.”

I listened as they described different parts our lifetime. It was like hearing a story for the first time, but knowing that it was all true at the same time. 

Aloma was the Chief. Pearlene was Medicine Woman for the tribe. Native villagers would come for healing and council. When the time came for Pearlene to leave, I couldn’t bear the separation. As her son I was next in line to become Medicine Man. She promised we would be together again. With that promise, she entered a starship and left.

Each of us had contributed part of the story. We each fell silent as we contemplated the events that we had just relived. We looked over the beauty of the land and stood there for a long moments. The shimmering of the sun and the gentle breeze added to the magic we felt that day.

We were under the spell of that day for the next few months. It was no wonder that we ended up living just a few miles from this area. There was a blending of time and  space for me there in Kansas. We spent the next 4 years in that farmhouse. I revisited that hillside many times and discovered many more vortexes that connected me with more otherworldly memories.

Our landlord decided to harvest some walnut trees from our 400 acres for gun stocks. The part they used came from the small area where the main trunk branched off into the branches.  Much the tree was wasted and left behind. I went out and got some of the walnut branches and made staffs. I took the trunks and made several drums. 

I learned how to make dream catchers during this time and made numerous ones as part of my rediscovery process. This was my way of reconnecting with forgotten memories.

I still have some of my dream catchers. I put them up in my house as a reminder of other times. They serve as a useful method to focus a blessing on me and my house.

A dream catcher is a spider web design on a willow or wooden loop. It is decorated with beads, feathers, and other personal items to protect the individual from harmful dreams, visions, or spells that may be directed toward an individual. The Souix believe that a dreamcatcher only allows the good dreams to filter through. Bad dreams would stay in the web, disappearing with the light of day. Good dreams would pass through and slide down the feathers to the sleeper.

They must work, I have used them for many years. First as a decoration and then as a focused intention of protection. My dreams are often filled with wonderment and instruction. They reconnect me. I am entertained and taught. My totem birds are the Red Tail Hawk and the Owl. My prayer for feathers was answered many times as I traveled along the highways in Kansas. Road Kill. These feathers help form the matrix of my personal dream catcher.

My dreams help to form the realities that are manifest in my outward world.

My upward causation is focused on creating harmony and peace in this time of change and transition.

Blessings to all from Wind in our Heart.

Bad Gas

Bad Gas

It happens. We go to the gas station to fill the tank with gas then notice that our car is running rough, the car stalls or quits. We blame the bad gas. We expect our cars to run efficiently and reliably each day. We change the oil and the filters as part of regular maintenance. If we forget our car lets us know with a check engine light. If we ignore the fuel light when it comes on we may run out of gas.  

Our bodies are much the same as our vehicles. If we put bad fuel into our tanks, we get bad gas mileage and poor performance. After repeated fueling with bad gas or the wrong kind of gas, we break down. Fortunately we have first aid, ambulances, and doctors to help tune us up. They do their best to help us limp along until our bodies are repaired and working at maximum performance again.

We must be slow learners, because we go back out and choose the  same bad gas again and again. The problem comes from not loving ourselves enough to believe that we are worth the effort or cost of high quality fuel.

Our warning lights are working efficiently and they warn us when we begin to feel poorly. We often ignore these warnings and continue the same destructive habits. We are not like our cars. We can’t trade the old for the new, we have to maintain and nurture these bodies to keep them in top performance.

It is time to stop patronizing the bad gas stations. 

We are what we eat. When you buy your food, buy the best you can afford. 

When many of us were growing up, fast food was a novelty. It was not an everyday habit. The fast food industry has grown to a multi billion dollar industry. We are addicted to their foods. This is not by accident. It was planned carefully with the help of the food and drug administration.

After World war ll, our GI’s came home talking about how the K rations from the Japanese tasted better than American K rations. Research and development discovered that the Japanese used a type of seaweed in the rations that contained Monosodium Glutamate. MSG. The food industry quickly discovered that MSG was highly addictive, It causes the taste buds to expand which made the food taste better. The problem with MSG is, it causes obesity and creates our cravings. An even worse problem with MSG is that it goes directly through the blood/brain barrier and causes the synapsis to fire uncontrollably until they burn out. MSG literally burns out our brain cells. These do not replenish.

I had to buy a food dictionary to understand what all those long names in the ingredient lists really were. 

Bread is pretty basic. Right? Flour, water, yeast, sugar, and salt. Pick up a loaf of bread and read the ingredients. I’ll bet you can’t even pronounce most of the ingredients. It is a list of flavor enhancers, texture enhancers and fillers combined with more chemicals and synthetic ingredients. Once these products are on the shelf, there are a myriad of preservatives to keep them looking fresh.

Elaine Hollingsworth is a former movie star turned healthy food advocate. She had to move to Australia to tell her story of conspiracy in the sickness industry. In her book, Take Control of you Health, she tells the story of the McMuffin ...

“For years I have used a neat visual aid in my public lectures and classes at Hippocrates, courtesy of those friendly Golden Arches people, whose contributions to the diet of young and old the world over are so well known. It is a McMuffin, given to me by a friend who after purchasing it, had put it in a paper box and forgotten about it for a series of reasons too boring to detail. She knew I would be interested in it because after 13 months hidden away in its paper box she discovered this geriatric muffin to still be in pristine condition. Bugs had shunned it, the shape was unchanged and there was not a trace of mould; nor were there any other signs of what we have come to expect from the breakdown of real food. Today, ten years later, it still looks, feels and smells the same. I allow people to examine this aged example of modern junk food marketing, but have to be watchful that none of them attempts to take a bite; it still looks ‘good enough to eat.”

When I go to the store I always read the labels. I know what most of bad ingredients are. The food industry is smart though, they keep changing the names of these chemicals. MSG is contained in most foods under the names, Glutamic acid, yeast extract, autolyzed yeast, gelatin, textured protein, soy protein, most modified ingredients, anything hydrolyzed, natural flavor, and many, many, more. The link below gives a more detailed list of these sources of MSG.

http://www.truthinlabeling.org/hiddensources.html

The food industry when confronted with this dangerous chemical has stated: We will not remove this from our products, it has been tested and found safe by the food and drug commission.

It then falls to us to make the right choices. The organic small farmers association has recently taken on Monsanto to preserve their right to produce healthy foods. Monsanto is fighting mad. They do not want us to know which foods have GMO’s, Genetically Modified Organism’s, as part of the ingredients. They are afraid that if given the choice, we will choose healthy over modified foods.

This rabbit hole is deep and it is crucial to become informed so that we can make intelligent choices when we choose our foods.

I try and keep a cheat sheet with me when I shop. It contains the fruits and vegetables that are healthy and those that are so pesticide laden that it is a must to buy them organic or not at all. I keep giving it away to people who notice I read labels and are interested in make healthy choices for their families.

The dirty dozen is a list done by ewg.org website. They publish an updated list of the worst and the best vegetables and fruits based on the number of poisons and pesticides each fruit contains.

Our parents and grandparents used whole ingredients and cooked from basic home grown products. We can’t all do that today and it is critical to make choices based on informed knowledge of our foods.

Eat organic when you can, when you are faced with uncertain origins of foods, ask for more information. What is in this? Is it homemade? Does it contain packaged or canned products? Is it organic? Was a microwave used to heat the product? Was it provided by a mass produced food kitchen?

I have been lucky that my body has been telling me for a long time which foods it prefers. When I eat, I pay attention to how I feel in the hours after I eat. Do I feel energetic. Am I alert? Am I satisfied? Cravings are warning lights. Pay attention to how you feel.

I am watching my friends drop dead! It does not have to be this way. 

I ask my fellow classmate, Jackson Andersen to send me a list of the known deaths of friends who attended our High School between 1969 -1972. Tears came to my eyes as I read the names of 60 friends who have died. Some of accidents, some causes not known, others from disease. I wondered how many lives could have been preserved by proper diet and life style changes.

I asked my Doctor/client in Albuquerque why he prescribes drugs instead of educating his patients. He told me, they would rather take a pill than make a life style change.

Is it time to make changes? Our life depends on it!

Do you live to eat?

I eat to Live.

I allow myself to be flexible within in limits.

I would rather use my money choosing a healthy lifestyle, rather than paying for lengthy and costly hospital stays. 

Let’s put the hospitals and the doctors out of business by making the informed healthy choices and treating ourselves to the best fuel available.

We are worth it!

The Price

I woke this morning with a feeling to get out my copy of “The Price.” I went up to the attic and found the box marked Mormon Books and found my copy. I have kept many of my books in the attic because they contain information that makes some people uncomfortable. Over the years I have been led to these books, they have helped in my awakening process. These books have opened my eyes to further light and knowledge.

The Price is a story out of Nazi Germany. It recounts the experience of several young German boys who decide to stand up for the principals of freedom. Some paid the ultimate price with their lives. Karl Schnibbe tells his story of survival and triumph. As a boy in his early teens he describes the gradual transition that took place around him. First in the community, and then in his church. 

Karl was a Mormon in Nazi Germany. He saw the young boys join the Brownshirts. They began wearing these uniforms to church. In the beginning the Nazi takeover brought a temporary relief from high unemployment and the out of control inflation. In 1936 Karl joined the “Cub Scouts” of the Nazi party. Recruiters came through each neighborhood carefully registering each youth. He said at first it was very exciting with overnight hikes, marching, and mock battles. Indoctrination took on a regular basis. When he was 14 he went into the Hitler Youth, where each got a dagger with the words, Blood and Honor stamped on the blade. 

He became disillusioned with the Nazi party because he saw they were diametrically opposed to the principals of freedom.

He said that many of those around him adopted the “wait and see” attitude with Hitler and the Nazis. He watched as people began to disappear. Church members were supportive of Hitler, referring to the 12th article of faith which says: We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. He said that members tended to be a bit naive in political matters.

A special church meeting was held when an angry church leader, President Soellner, learned his own typewriter had been used to write anti propaganda leaflets. Karl ultimately spent 7 years in prison serving hard labor. He is a survivor. His friends weren’t as fortunate.

We have now facing us, many of the same challenges that Karl faced in Nazi Germany. Our freedom is at risk. We are living in a police state where anyone can be arrested without reason and held indefinitely as an enemy of the state. It is time to wake up and speak out.

Hiding behind a locked door or a naive church will not help us. We are at war with our own neighbors, who claim they are only doing their job. It is time to quit working for those who manipulate us and make a difference. 

Abuses are rampant among us. Families with multigenerational physical, mental, and sexual abuses are being quietly swept under the rug. Leaders at risk are advising us to forgive and forget, while they continue the abuses behind closed doors. Depression, suicides, and drug use is pandemic among us. It is time to come out and declare to the world that, “We are mad as hell, and not going to take it any longer.”

Living in Manti, Utah in 1993 I found myself facing discrimination in renting a home. I contacted the Fair Housing Authority in Colorado with my complaints. They stood ready to help in my case. I also contacted the channel 4 news in Salt Lake City. Paul Murphy brought down his camera truck to do an interview. There I was on the 6:00 o'clock news telling my story. When I talked to my Bishop, I was advised to forgive and forget.

There is a seething current just underneath the surface of public view. It is filled with deception, abuse, and control. Leaders need to wake up, report, and correct  these abuses. 

In my own extended family, there is first hand accounts of sexual, physical, satanic, and mental abuses. It has destroyed lives. Only a very few have had the courage to speak out against their abusers. Fear of reprisals against family members have created more abuses. Leader have warned family not to associate with those who have been excommunicated. If you do ... we will come after you.

The “wait and see” attitude will destroy us. 

Forgive and forget will bury us.

It is time to pay the Price for freedom by SPEAKING OUT LOUD.

Second Sight

My world has changed. It’s not just the new things being discovered. It’s not the way the weather patterns have changed. It’s not the unrest in the world. My world has changed because I no longer see it with my physical eyes. I see through my heart and that new perception has given me an understanding that I never knew was possible. That depth that I see comes from the many questions that I have carried in my heart. From the time I was a little boy I felt like I was missing something in my life. Whenever I got to pull the wishbone from the chicken dinner, my wish was, Help me remember. When I saw a falling star, it was the same thing. I have been given my wish.

My heaven is here and now. It is beginning to manifest itself in the physical world. My questions are being answered in an undeniable way.

I no longer carry the guilt of being less than. Within me are the talents, gifts, and qualities of God. I was taught as a little child that I was a child of God. I believed. It was my teachers, friends and family that told me I was less. I believed it then, but no more. I can feel the energy building inside of me. It is a connecting feeling that drives me to not only remember, but to Be in my peace and in my power. My memories are getting stronger. Memories not only of my life here and now, but memories and feelings and emotions from other times. 

One of my favorite movies is Somewhere in Time. It tells the story of two people who cross the barriers of time to find each other. I have done that. My feelings are getting so strong that many lifetimes are connecting with me. I can feel them. I can sense them. Sometimes I can see them. Cell phones are no match for the connection I now have and that connection is getting stronger each day. 

My day dreams and my night dreams are merging into one continual awakening experience. My senses are tuning into frequencies and dimensions that were once unknown. I believe again. I believe in who I am.  I have recaptured my childhood GodSelf.

The world around me has done its best to block my awakening process. Today as I was out in the sunshine I noticed the Chemtrails from the jets going overhead. These were not the vapor trails that disappear in seconds. These are chemicals that are purposely being sprayed from airliners to dumb us down. Our own government has been using a myriad of methods to keep us from waking up to who we are meant to be. 

I am no longer a puppet to be used for someone else’s work slave. Our way of life is about to change. I am using my God given power to block the negative chemicals and frequencies being beamed at us to neutralize our higher abilities.

I have torn down the curtain’s and I can see clearly now. There are many others who are beginning to feel these stirrings within. It is an awakening process that is different and perfect for each person. It is part of our built in failsafe when we agreed to come here.

This earth is a temporary stop of only a few years. We are eternal beings and I am remembering who I am and what I came here to do. 

I am a systems buster. I have not always done it gracefully. My stories are my way of remembering and passing on my personal experiences. As the words begin to form in my mind, I can feel the emotions build and the message pours out of my heart.

My awakening began 20 years ago. I was driving down the freeway in Salt Lake City. I was on my way to a work project. I heard it as clear as the wind outside my open window. It was a message to me telling me to, “Awake Beloved One, you have slept long enough.” Many more things came into my mind as I drove to that job that day. I don’t remember the job, but I remember the message that I received that day. It came with a sweet feeling and an urgency that I could not ignore. My life has been in constant change from that time until now. 

I see differently now. I am sensing the feelings of those around me. I can feel their pain and struggles. I can communicate with nature in a way that I was not aware before this change. I have had animals and birds respond in a way that I didn’t notice before. When I take a moment and tune in, I can sense so much more going on around me. I can use this connection to manifest things around me. 

I am now beginning to recognize others who are experiencing similar things. We see and recognize one another. I have not always know how to process this ability. When my hearts connects, it does not always come with a full understanding of that connection. 

The illusions of this earth are powerful and not everyone is willing to allow these changes. We are free agents, we must make our own choice.

As I continue to create my world around me, the old ways are fading into the distance. Old friends are fading too. My future is beginning to come into focus. It is going to be the adventure of a lifetime. Of many lifetimes. I am watching the culmination of my dreams become manifest. Living and seeing through my heart once more.

Resolutions

Resolutions

I have selective memory loss, my memory is no longer able to recall many of the unhappy events that I have experienced in my life. When I sit quietly allowing my mind to wander, I pay attention to where my thoughts take me. I enjoy dwelling on good times. If an unpleasant thought surfaces, I don’t automatically put it out of my mind, I look to see if I have faced that lesson fully and resolved the conflict within myself.

STOP! Right now, what are you thinking? 

Happiness, abundance, romance, adventure, travel, fitness? 

Sadness, lack, bills, failed relationships, boredom, excess weight, and the aches and pains of a worn out body? 

Thoughts act as advance scouts for the events and places that we will soon face in our lives. When I control my thoughts I know that I create my own future. When I allow negative emotions to control me and run my life I can be assured of conflict and drama. When I consciously choose my state of mind, That choice will manifest in my life.

I have seen the effects of my thoughts in my own use of the Law of Attraction. This law was brought into focus in the video, The Secret. My ability to use the Law of Attraction has increased with use. The amount of time from first thought to the moment of realization depends on our ability to stay in the positive. The formula says that when you have a thought and dwell on that thought, whether positive or negative, you will create that reality. When that thought is enhanced with emotion the reality is created more quickly.

My dreams, whether they are night dreams or day dreams are the beginning of that change. When my dreams are filled with emotion, especially intense emotions, I know that they will soon be part of my life. 

I have an inner compass. It works with my emotions. When I sense that I am off course, my emotions are doubt, fear, insecurity, and agitation. When I am on a direct life course, my emotions are joy, anticipation, peace and random bursts of laughter.

It has taken me most of my life to trust in these inner feelings, I wish I could have trusted these senses sooner.

The beginning of a new year is traditionally when we make our resolutions to change. 

Happiness, abundance, romance, adventure, travel, and fitness are the things that most of us want in our life. These are our advance scouts. We send them out to bring these realities in our lives.

It takes time to act with positive thoughts instead of reacting with negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. If you get off course, pay attention to your feelings. Trust in your inner guidance and act on that feeling. Your thoughts create your reality. Allow yourself some flexibility in your progress, it takes time to change old habits.

2012 will be a year of great transitions. 

Do you choose to focus on the end of the world, sadness, lack, bills, failed relationships, boredom, excess weight, and the aches and pains of a worn out body? 

Do you choose to focus on new beginnings, happiness, abundance, romance, adventure, travel, and fitness?

Matters of the heart

My sweet sister is lying in an induced coma in Provo, Utah. Fear of brain damage has prompted the doctors to lower her body temperature. In 24 hours they will bring her body back to normal temperature. At that point they will determine the next course of action.

I was awakened with a dream this morning around 2:30 a.m. While processing my dream I felt a spirit presence enter the room. I walked over to the computer and looked at my face book account. I saw a post from my niece only minutes old telling me about her mom. Since that time I have been pondering over her condition and the possible reasons why this has happened.

She has given her whole life to her family. She has raised her 4 children while working full time. She always places others before her self. 

I have been closer to her these past few years. She has experienced more than her share of heart break. I was able to be part of her life by helping her when she needed repairs done on her home. She asked me to install some tile last month. I told her I would only do it if the pay was a dozen pints of her homemade tomato salsa. She gave me that and more. I watched as her energy levels dropped last month. I talked with her about life and asked if she was happy. I asked her if she had done everything she wanted to do in life. I reminded her not to wait too long to find her dreams and live them. Now ... it may be too late.

I have been grateful for learning this sooner than later in my life. Life is fragile and we are not often aware of the sudden changes that can happen in our lives. Conditions of the heart go far beyond the physical stresses that we place upon our bodies. Our hearts are responsible for much more than pumping blood. Our hearts are at the center of our entire being. The heart processes and is capable of doing far more than we are aware. Our heart processes emotions and when negative emotions are left untreated, dis-ease begins to take over and break down our bodies. Matters of the heart are difficult to diagnose and treat. If symptoms are treated without knowing the causes, the cure is seldom successful. 

Treating the whole being is lacking in Western medicine. I take a holistic approach when I look at my own health. Looking at my symptoms has given me a starting point to find the cause of my distress. 

I found a book many years ago that now has worn pages. I turned to it today to begin a process of discovery. It is called, “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die...” by Karol K Truman. 

Karol says there are many reasons for Heart Problems: 

Violating the laws of love; knowingly or unknowingly

Feelings of compassion or rejection being blocked

Feelings of resentment and /or hurt

Not feeling approval from others

Upsetting family problems

Has a difficult time forgiving (including self)

Wanting to release from responsibility

In a relationship that hurts

I don’t know all the buried feelings of my sister. I know part of her story and Karol has touched on possible causes for my sisters heart condition. My sister was aware of her heart condition when I talked with her last month. Both the physical and emotional problems.

She wore a heart monitor then and was working with a heart specialist who was beginning treatment for her. She didn’t know how serious her condition was. She felt she had time to work out these matters of the heart. She met with a councilor to begin the process of resolving her emotional issues. Her condition is more critical than any of us are aware. Her heart knew. It takes time to heal a broken heart that has been suffering for years. I reach out to her knowing that she is close by. I send her my love. My gratitude. I Love you, Jolene.