The Hitchhiker

I don’t often pick up hitchhikers, but I did yesterday. I headed out on the road to visit my mother and meet some old friends in the city. It is a monthly occasion that allows me to do some shopping and visiting. I hadn’t gone more than a mile out of town when I picked up my rider. He was an old friend that I hadn’t seen in awhile. I didn’t recognize him at first but as we drove down the road I soon I found my self laughing and reminiscing and getting reacquainted again. I wondered why we hadn’t gotten together sooner. It’s probably my fault but he is unpredictable and often acts on the spur of the moment. We laughed some more about the adventures that we experienced together.

My friends name is Intuition. I sometimes call him Inspiration or even my inner child.

I have been reluctant to call him because I never know where I will end up the next day or week. 

I have been comfortable in my routine and my relatively easy life. A lazy breakfast followed by a work out on the computer. 

Checking in with friends and answering mail. Laughing at the silly Facebook posts and checking on events of the world. Later if the sun is shining, I go on a walk to the post office or walk around the state park. 

My regular life has been put on hold for awhile. The further down the road I traveled with my friend the less sure I was of my direction. When I got to the junction in the road where I had to go one way or the other, my Friend had convinced me to go on a new adventure with him.

Today I am sitting in Einstein Bros. Bagels in Denver Colorado. There is nearly two feet of snow on the ground and it is still coming down. I put some new grips in my steering wheel as I maneuvered I-70 over the rockies. My knuckles are still white from gripping so tight on the steering wheel with all the ice and the snow on the road.

I felt like I was like stepping back a few months as I drove through the town of Vail Colorado. They still have Christmas lights on some of the trees and shopping plazas. As I left Eisenhower tunnel toward Denver I thought my eyes were going bad. The falling powdery snow was so subtle that the scenery looked out of focus to me. It was several miles before I noticed the snow getting larger and more intense. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn’t going blind and turned the lights on. 

So, here I sit typing on the computer, sipping my coffee and eating my bagel and wondering where I will go this time. It is a 500 mile detour so far. 

I am not worrying too much, I am reminded that I put a few extra dollars in my pocket this time. I have a sleeping bag, enough clothes for a week or more and I am looking for inspiration to show me the next step.

I must have needed this adventure in my life. A change from my regular routine. My guides are the best, they have never disappointed me in the past and I know that this will not be any different. I don’t worry or get into fear, there is a reason for everything that happens in our life.

What’s next?

Only my Intuition and inner child knows for sure.

I am listening and waiting ...

Downwinder

Downwinder

I am writing this from a personal level. My wife was a downwinder. I say was, because she died from being exposed to a fiendish plan of the United States Government. 

The first nuclear weapons test at the Nevada Proving Ground took place on January 27, 1951 about 65 miles northwest of Las Vegas. 

In 1962, 140 nuclear bombs later, the tests were moved underground.

History has shown us that government can not be trusted to act on our best welfare.

They have repeatedly used us as Guinea pigs in a multitude of experimental tests. Most being done without our knowledge or consent.

Current tests are being done on our military on an ongoing basis.

My own wife, Pearlene lived in a small community in Northern Arizona. She was doing what other little girls and boys were doing: going to school, playing outside, and growing up. What she didn’t know is that less than 400 miles away, nuclear bombs were being detonated by war mongering men and women who were only doing their jobs.

Harry S Truman was president. He allowed and supported nuclear testing under his administration.

So did Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was president from 1954-1961.

John F Kennedy became president in 1962. Under his administration, the testing was stopped.

I was also affected by the radiation fallout during that time. I was living in Escalante, Utah in 1955 until 1960.

There have been thousands of needless deaths because of this policy.

in 1997 the National Cancer Institute found that much of the nation was blanketed with fallout from the atmospheric tests performed in Nevada from 1951 to 1962. Most of it was concentrated in Nevada, Utah and Arizona, within 300 miles of the proving ground.

I am a little bit angry at the waste of precious lives, especially  for those close to me.

The government has set up a compensation program to pay off the families of those who were and are still being affected by this diabolical program. 

It is little consolation.

My biggest concern is that those who were individually responsible for these actions remain mostly anonymous, under the cloak of national security or only listed as government employees.

“I was only doing my job,” does little to excuse someone of gross negligence or criminal activity.

I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico for 5 years and during that time I learned that there are more nuclear bombs under that city than anywhere on the planet.

I went to a party in Albuquerque and during the small talk I ask several people what they did for a living. 

The Answer?

I make WMD’s. 

Weapons of mass destruction.

I was shocked!

It is time to wake up, pull our head out of the sand, and take a stand for right.

If you support in any way, programs that endorse or support these kinds of government programs, it should review your priorities.

“But, I only put the parts together.”

“I didn’t know.”

“We only supply the electrical circuits.”

Excuses like this will not stand up when the deaths continue to mount in program after program.

Today, is National Downwinders Day.

Last year, the U.S. Senate voted unanimously to honor downwinders with a special day of recognition.

Yea!? 

Most are dead!

My sweetheart is gone. All she did was to stand on a corner in Winslow Arizona.

To the Woman of my dreams

To the woman of my dreams:

I have already met you in my dreams. You visit me when my guard is down and I am most open to receive you.

You have captured my heart.

My waking hours are sometimes spent in mundane chores that life requires of me. I get caught up in the everyday worries of making ends meet, and life’s distractions and I forget.

My heart keeps on reminding me to remember my prayers, to reflect on my hopes and dreams, to check in with things that matter most in life. It is in this way that we will meet in life.

I am trying to be the kind of man that you have shown me to be in my dreams. 

The years have changed me. My hair is gone. My confidence has been challenged. I am not as strong as I once was. My eyes have dimmed. My hearing has faded.

Some have encouraged me to go out into the world and look for you. They say I must leave my place of peace, my garden sanctuary. 

My heart tells me to stay here for now. I am to trust in the workings of the Universe to bring us together.

My guides assure me that even though I have changed, we will recognize each other. It will be unmistakeable when I see you and you see me.

The physical is temporary, the spiritual is forever. 

I am sorry about my hair. 

My hopes are renewed.

My strength is in my heart.

My eyes are now green and focused on you.

I am listening to Spirit.

I know we will have Instant and complete love on all levels.

I made a list of things that I would like to have in a life partner. It isn’t very long. At the top of that list is spiritual compatibility. Someone who will have similar dreams and goals. Someone who I can inspire and who can inspire me to want to become more than I am.

Non-judgmental of me and others.

Beauty is important, but not the outer beauty that the world recognizes. Inner beauty of the heart and soul.

I know that you travel light, you long ago left your baggage behind.

Laughter is important, because life isn’t alway fair. 

A smile.

A sparkle.

These are things that you have already shown my in my dreams.

I am looking forward to meeting you. 

I promise to focus more on important things, so that I can be ready when we see each other.

Adventure is in our future. Discovery of life and its mysteries. 

Travel calls out to us and together we will explore the unexplored.

I trust in you because you trust in me.

The power of the heart is strong. 

I know, that you know ... I am here.

The boundaries between us are falling alway, I know you are close.

Soon, my Love, so very soon ...

The Universe has told me you are amazing and that the waiting will be worth it.

I promise you the same ...

Heyoka

Heyoka

I met Tommy Roubideux on the walkway between the parking lot and bear mountain. We had received special permission to enter the Native American sacred site from the visitors center. 

Bear Butte State park is located 8 miles from Sturgis, South Dakota. We heard about it from a freeway rest stop not far from Devils Tower.

Both my wife and I were immediately drawn to leave the freeway and drive to Bear Butte.

We could feel the ancient spirits as we neared the park. 

It was the spirits of the mountain calling to us. 

We found signs restricting outsiders from entering the sacred area.

We reasoned with the ranger for several minutes to get permission. She asked if our visit was of a spiritual nature. 

It was. 

We had been invited by the mountain spirits.

We walked down the path toward the mountain.

A fire several years earlier had burned the mountain and left the trees blackened. We saw hundreds of colored pieces of cloth tied to the trees with small pouches tied to the branches. 

We saw smoke rising from a fire where rocks were being heated for a sweat.

The spirits were strong there on the mountain. I could feel the sacredness of this area. Together with my wife we gave thanks to the mountain for the invitation. 

We left our blessings and offering on a stone bust of Frank Fools Crow. As I was turning to leave and return to the car I heard a message...

“Take the pipestone, it is a gift to you.”

Pipestone is sacred to the Native American people. It is quarried from Pipestone, Minnesota. It is used to make the sacred pipes that are used in ceremonies.

Someone else had placed that offering and I was being offered a gift with a gift. 

It was a rough cutout of the red hardened stone in the shape of a pipe.

“You are like the stone, rough and unpolished.”

I heard the words echoing as we approached our car.

Tommy met us there and ask where we were from. 

“Wathena, Kansas.”

“I know that area, my family helped settled St Joseph, Missouri.”  

“Would you be interested in attending a Sundance later this month at the Rosebud Indian Reservation?”

We told Tommy we would call and let him know.

It was the end of July, the hottest time of the year as we entered the parking lot at Rosebud. There were already many cars and campsites. We asked around and found Tommy’s camp. He introduced us to others who were there. He said we were his special guests.

Tommy was a medicine man, a Heyoka.

Tommy also had cancer. He was here to dance.

The drums were reverberating through the camp when we walked down to the sun dance circle. It was hot. The sun dance was held during this time to test the endurance of the participants. It was in the mid 90’s. We found shade under the canopy of limbs that had been placed around the circle.

The circle was approximately 75 feet wide. The entrance was facing the rising sun. In the center of the circle was a cottonwood tree. Attached to the cottonwood tree was each participants cord or rope. Earlier in the week, the tribe had gone out to choose a special tree. It was not allowed to touch the ground after being cut and was carried back to the circle where it was placed in the ground. The tree represents connection between earth and sky.

Before sunrise each day the drums would call the dancers to the circle. As the sun rose, they filed into the circle, dancing to the beat of the drum. On this day there were men and women, young and old, dancing together. Both Red and White.The families and friends of each dancer sat on the outside of the circle, supporting and encouraging them. Before I could sit, sage was used to cleanse my spirit and body. Sage was used each day for all.

There was a unity that linked us all to the ceremony. The drums were beating with the heart beat of the Earth.

The Sundance is a sacred ceremony. Each dancer has prepared for a year before coming. 

Sweats, fasting, prayer, and vision quests are part of the preparation. The dance is a sacred offering to the Earth Mother and Creator. Most dancers do this 4 consecutive years. This is how each discovers his life’s work and path.

I watched each dancer in the circle closely. It was a solemn occasion.

For three days the dancers danced. At noon they were given a rest and then they continued until sundown.

Traditionally this was done without food or water. In this Sundance, water was allowed.

Sponsors of the dancers provided food for all the camp. 

Each day the drums and ceremony linked us together. I could feel my heart opening and I began to have a familiar feeling, a memory surfaced. I could feel the connection get stronger and stronger as the hours passed. The last day was piercing day. When each dancer felt completion, they walked to the center where the tree held their cord. A Medicine man made two incisions on each side of the chest for the men, or on the shoulders for the women. Two wooden pegs were inserted and the cord was attached to the pegs. The dancer would then dance away from the tree until the cord was tight and the skin was stretched out from the body, then dance toward the tree. This was repeated for as long as the dancer felt necessary, usually 5 to 10 minutes. When he felt all was accepted by Earth Mother and Creator, the dancer would lean back on the cord until the wooden pegs were ripped from the skin.

As I watched this take place, the tears were streaming down my face. I was not ashamed. My own memories had surfaced from long ago and I remembered my own Sundance. I had been asking in my prayers if I needed to participate in the next years Sundance. I was given peace and told, No. “You have already done this. It is not necessary.”

I watched Tommy come into the circle. He was pierced in the chest and the shoulders and on the back. He attached the cord and each wooden peg was pulled through the flesh. When he attached the cords to his back, he connected them to buffalo skulls, and pulled them around the circle. He was unable to break the skin and had a chubby boy sit on the skulls until he could rip the pegs from his back.

I still feel the imprint of that ceremony on my heart and soul.

I lost track of Tommy Roubideux. I tried to google him but to no avail.

I don’t know if he beat the cancer, I hope so. 

I have a reminder of that weekend. I was gifted with the ropes that tied the buffalo skulls together. They are in a place of honor. I was given an even greater gift that weekend. I was invited into an inner circle of spiritual warriors who shared with me their sacred experience. I watched and experienced the uniting of Heaven and Earth. That Heyoka spirit lives in me, I have played the clown and the rebel. 

Thank you Tommy ... even though I am rough and unpolished, I can see the future ...

http://www.nativetimes.com/life/commentary/5149-heyoka-a-man-taller-than-his-shadow

The Monarch

The Monarch

Two summers ago as the flowers began to bloom and grow fragrant, I noticed a particularly beautiful Monarch Butterfly in my yard. She was there every day with her striking colors and patterns. She seemed to belong here. I watched her fly from flower to flower gathering nectar. Her wings were graceful and the gentle opening and closing of her wings as she sat upon each flower was hypnotic to watch. 

I looked for her when I went out each day. 

This was the same summer that my Wife was struggling to stay positive with the pain of her cancer. I helped Pearlene out onto the porch where she would sit for hours watching me work in the garden and the yard.

She is the one who first noticed the Butterfly.

I held her hand and we would walk around the yard looking at each flower. 

We walked slowly and deliberately. 

She used the walking cane I had fashioned out of a coffee tree. 

She loved nature and helped me to see the beauty through her eyes.

Together we marveled as our yard was transformed into a garden of flowers and greenery. 

As the pain increased my wife spent more time in bed. 

I gave her a cow bell to ring when she needed my help and I continued to work in the garden. 

When she was able, she would sit on the porch and watch me. 

She wanted to be there by my side, but was unable to endure the bright sunlight.

I watched as her vibrant life slowly slipped away.

The bedroom became her life.

I would sit with her and describe the progress of the yard. She would ask about her flowers and the butterfly.

I began to notice the butterfly’s wings were looking worn and the colors were fading.

Then one day I found the butterfly lying on the ground, dead. I brought it in and showed my wife, she was sad. 

We talked about life and death.

When we were no longer able to treat the pain with natural remedies, we began the drugs. 

We called the family. They gathered around and together we said goodbye. It happened so fast...

When I brought her ashes back I sat and cried for a long time. I walked around the yard trying to find the joy once more. It was so quiet and I missed the sound of her laughter.

That was when my attention was drawn to my outside bedroom door. There in the corner of the door frame was an empty chrysalis casing from the Monarch Butterfly. 

That empty casing is a reminder to me that Pearlene’s spirit flies free. 

No pain

Just freedom and Joy.

Thank you Marian for reminding me ...

Caller ID

Caller ID

Hello?

Who?

Who?

I use my caller ID to prescreen my calls when someone dials my number. I can usually tell who is calling by the number that is displayed on the screen.

Area code 209?

Who is this?

I placed my number on the National Do Not Call List. It is a free service provided to help block those annoying telemarketers who call at inconvenient times. 

The police have bypassed this somehow and still want me to buy tickets or give money to support a cause for something or other. 

Intimidation.

I finally got the courage to just say no to them and to take me off their list. I have been picking up and threatening other blocked callers with being reported to the Do Not call registry. Most do not call back.

Here is a link to place your number on the National Do Not Call list.

  http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2008/04/dncfyi.shtm.

There is a glitch in the government system. Telemarketers can pay a fee to access our information.

There are exemptions for certain organizations who can still access our information for free.

I have registered my number and it does cut down on those meal time calls.

My mind drew a blank on the 209 area code.

How many other ....’s do you know?

A few...

This is .... .......!

Oh.

What now ... I thought?

My mind raced through a number of scenarios.

I want to talk to you about ...

Oh, oh!

Early last year I made a decision to clean out some closets. I sorted through unused items and threw other things out that had long ago served their usefulness. I have given things to those that can use them.

It was a resetting of my life. 

The death of my wife left a huge empty place in my heart and in my life. The last 17 years have been consumed in sharing life’s joy with my friend and lover. 

A few months ago, things shifted for me. I knew it was time to move forward again. 

I started cleaning out the closets of my life.

This phone call was the last dark corner of my life coming to the light again.

I made some choices 18 years ago to live my life in an unconventional way. I thought that I had resolved my earlier conflicts and moved into a place of balance. 

The phone call proved me wrong.

I could feel the anger and the resentment of 18 years begin to surface, I heard my self saying things that were not kind. I was far from a peaceful place for those first minutes. 

A patient and questioning voice continued to draw me out of my dark corner.

I saw myself as an observer of this conversation. I watched as I begin to calm, and soften to the words being spoken.

Truth was being voiced. 

I had been wrong.

I was wrong in my judgements.

I was wrong in trusting false information.

I was wrong in not going to the Source.

There was a new beginning for me last night. I was reminded of a prayer that I asked earlier.

“Show me any unresolved conflicts in my life so that I can move forward into the Light.”

I apologized many times last night. 

Trust will need to be rebuilt again, but the door is open to heal and move forward in a positive direction again.

I have a 16 year old son who is wanting to get his drivers license. I haven’t seen him since he was an infant. He wants to have the same last name as his brothers and sisters. They are all he has known.

I gave my consent.

I don’t apologize for my life, it has molded me into the Man I am today.

Mistakes?

A lot.

Being Human is what life is all about. This is a temporary condition that will change as we pass our self imposed tests. Tests that we ourselves created. These tests and challenges will add to the knowledge and wisdom of the Spiritual Eternal Being that lies within us all.

It is a new day for me.

The sun is shining a little more brightly today. 

The birds singing more sweetly.

My heart is lighter.

I passed through a dark night of the soul, and now on the other side, I wonder why I felt to carry it so long?

I am so grateful that I chose to pick up that call last night.

It has made all the difference.

Everlasting

Everlasting

I watched a moving story about a family who have lived for many years, It is called Tuck Everlasting. It is one of the many reminders I have had this week about time.

I quit wearing a watch over 20 years ago. I felt that time was an unkind master and I wanted to break free from the constraints that time had imposed on me. I took my alarm clock out of my bedroom last night. It was one of my final acts to free myself from man’s artificial schedule. 

The word alarm comes from the Old French À l'arme meaning "To the arms", "To the weapons", telling armed men to pick up their weapons and get ready for action, because an enemy may have suddenly appeared.

The enemy may be time itself. 

No more ...

Many of my early schooling lessons have proven to be incorrect. 

Time is one of them.

I am reflecting on my life on this beautiful January day. I can pick any memory from my past and relive that experience. The sights, sounds, the smells, the taste, the sensations, all these physical senses can be readily retrieved at will. If I close my eyes and focus my thoughts, I can interact with the experience and savor that moment.

I can also affect the future by my thoughts and intentions. I have created many events that have started out as mere dreaming. The interval between my dream and the manifestation is dependent on my ability to stay focused. 

When our dreams are aligned with Source Energy, the creation is truly miraculous.

My difficultly is staying in the moment and focusing a sustained release of energy to create my reality.

Our government has developed and created an artificial method to break through the time barrier. 

Many of the movies that entertain us are based on enlightened ideas. Hollywood has been giving us metered doses of truth filtered with fiction. 

I have been paying attention.

In August of 1943, our government was involved in a inter-dimensional time travel project. It was called the Philadelphia Experiment. Hollywood portrayed the incident in a movie called The Philadelphia Experiment.

It began with research from Nikola Tesla that was then modified to be used for negative control. It deals with manipulating the earths magnetic fields to control us and effect the time line. A huge problem occurred in 1943. A huge rift was opened in the earths protective shield. In 1983 our government tried to fix the gaping hole in an experiment called the Montauk Experiment. They only made it worse.

What affects the earth affects us. 

Many of our memory problems have to do with the changing magnetics of the earth. When the poles shift, our memories are affected.

Tampa Florida’s main runway was shut down in January of 2011 to realign with the current north pole location. These latest changes are the most dramatic in a century. The pole had been moving to the northeast at about 9 miles per year in 1904. Since 2007 it has been racing towards Siberia.

The North pole is moving at nearly 40 miles a year.

What do we do?

Each one of us has a protective field surrounding us, sometimes called the merkaba field. Our memories as well as our emotional bodies are tied to the earth’s magnetic fields. If this field goes to zero and you have no protection, you loose your memories.

It is vital that we preserve our personal merkaba field if we want to retain our memories.

In an unprotected state we are easily reprogramed for any use the governments may choose to impose on us.

It then falls to us to take control over our lives and our earth. This balance is best done by the heart energy. We need to get out of our heads and into our hearts. The energy of the heart is exponentially more powerful than our brains. When we are in our hearts, our merkaba field is energized and enlarged. Our inner peace is reflected to others and their merkaba field is strengthened.

I am continually amazed at the enlightened souls that are all around us. When the need arises, the teacher will arrive.

Synchronicities will begin to manifest in your life when you are in your own personal merkaba field. This personal field is where real time travel is possible. Access to all information, past, present and future is waiting to awaken us to our real potential. It has always been there for us to access.

Time and space is no longer the barrier. 

Scotty? 

Beam me up?

We are only limited by our own thoughts.

I still have a few clocks around the house, they are a reminder of my past. 

My future is my own.