Dear Abby

Dear Abby ...

Dear Abby, It’s my fault. 

I only wanted to make things better when I decided to repair my fence.

Last summer I noticed that some of the fence posts had rotted. I talked with my neighbor and told him that I would fix our common fence. He agreed and said he had thought about it, but hadn’t gotten around to it.

We have an open gate policy between us, when he needs to borrow an item he opens the gate and knocks on my door. 

When he needs to have his swamp cooler serviced each year, he knocks on my door. When he wants a bolt or a nail, he knows I keep a supply in my shed. Lately he has trouble climbing ladders so when a light bulb needs changing, he knocks on my door. When his roof leaked, I repaired the shingles. When he got a DVD player he needed me to install the player. When his sprinklers needed repairing, I fixed the water line. When the clock wouldn’t stop blinking, I replaced the battery. When his air bed wouldn’t work right I helped to find the problem. When his tree fell over, I took my chainsaw and cut it up. When he needed me to help move some furniture, I drove the moving truck 500 miles and helped to load and unload.  When he needed me to help build on an extra bedroom, I volunteered to help for 3 weeks. When his recliner broke, I replaced some parts. When they tired of answering phone calls, I gave them my answering machine. When he asked me to pick up some new trees, I dug the holes and planted them for him. Each month when I travel out of town to buy groceries, I have a list of things to pick up for him. I guess it’s partly my fault, I am a carpenter and handyman by trade. I don’t really mind, he is getting older and isn’t able to do many things.

The other day he told me that he had paid his dues in helping others when they needed help and now that he needs help, it is my turn to help him.

As I began to gather materials I talked to him about buying the lumber. He told me where to buy the same rough cut lumber that he had used.

I told him I wanted to make some improvements and make the gate larger. That way when I cut his grass each week I wouldn’t have to go around to the street side to get my lawn mower in his yard.

I drew a picture of my plans and took it over for his inspection. 

The next week I told him I had ordered the lumber and would be traveling 150 miles round trip to pick it up.

When I arrived with the lumber he inspected it. He watched me as I dug the holes and replaced each of the damaged posts. When I started building the gate he came over as the dutiful sidewalk inspector and watched me. Over the next two days he watched as I rebuilt the fence, added the new supports and then placed the fence slats.

That was last summer.

Last week I got an email asking me to let them use my home to do their laundry, I was visiting family out of town. 

This is the message :

April 24

gary , my dad need a favor, mom's drier finally died or burned up which ever and he needs to know if mom can use yours until they can go and buy a new one. They would really appreciate it. The dryer was only 30 yrs old. Please let me know asap so I can let dad know. Thanks

April 25
good morning

I'm on my way to bed, I'll check back later to see if you got my message. 

April 25
gary, my dad ask me to ask you again about using your dryer. If you feel uncomfortable about us going in your house, we promise not to bother anything, please let me know asap

April 25
Gary, my dad ask me to ask you 1 last time about using your dryer. He is very unhappy, 1st because you won't reply to my requests and second you always say if you need any help you just need to ask. Well he is asking for a favor & this is how you answer. Again if it is the fact that you think we are going to do something in the house or take something, I have said we wouldn't. Think about it and please let me know what to tell dad.

April 26
Gary I noticed that I'm not on friend list is there a reason why?

The final straw came when they called my 83 year old mother to complain ... and besides that, they don’t like the fence.

What should I do?