Saturday, June 9, 2012

Beloved P


My Love, it has been nearly 2 years since you left. 
I didn’t get to say goodbye. I wanted to say goodbye to you, but in the last few days there were so many things to take care of.
I felt strange to be making arrangements with the funeral director while you were still here. We had so many family members here to wish you farewell, I forgot to tell you how much I loved you and how much I would miss you. 
Then the pain was so intense we had to begin the morphine and then you were gone. 
You did so much for me, you healed my broken heart then showed me how to love again. You helped me to see that our love was far more rare than I realized. 
Mediocre? Ha! We had something that was so special. I was mistaken to have even thought that thought. I did so while I was in my “why me?” state. 
You were so patient with me. You helped me to see a better way and to look for the good in all things.
I felt you many times, your thoughts fill my mind with the good times we had. I felt you slip your hand into mine just last month.
I wanted more time with you, we were just getting a good start on life. We still have so many more adventures to discover.
How will I ever be patient enough to experience those with you.
You told me to never settle ... Hold out a while longer, it will be worth the wait.
I have never lived alone before. I don’t like it. I once thought that I could be a hermit, I can’t. I must admit I do like the quiet time and the exclusive use of the remote control but I miss our walks together. And our talks into the night. 
Oh, we were so connected in every way. I guess that was to be expected, it was the angels that brought us together, introduced us and accompanied us where ever we went.
The dreams, and visions. The energy that we created when we touched, when we kissed.
Remember the crystal cluster from Missouri? That one really amplified our energy. We even had other people who could feel the electricity when we made the connection.
We held hands where ever we went, even at night we had to be touching. I miss the human touch. I didn’t think about it until I didn’t have it.
I miss all that, but most of all I miss you.
I want to look into those blue eyes and tell you that I love you and that I will always be your friend and companion and lover and protector.
My Love ... how will I ever be able to thank you enough for all that you have done for me. 
Not in this lifetime. 
Then we discovered other lifetimes. 
Oh, how we lived so many lifetimes together.
See, that is what I am struggling with right now. 
I am recognizing others that I have a bond and connection with. I can see them, but they can’t or won’t recognize me.
I asked for it, didn’t I?
To be connected to all time and space and to remember ....
I drift between 3rd, 4th, and 5 dimensions. It is easy to make the shift.
My connections are getting stronger each day.
What am I supposed to do?
With these new abilities?
I have been writing and sharing some of my experiences, I still hesitate to share the sacred parts of our life.
It is difficult to stay here, knowing what I know.
Yet, I feel I am not yet finished.
I am waiting for something.
It is not clear yet.
I am not very patient, so please give me some help.
I love you so ....
Your Beloved M

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